Why I don't like Texas right now....

It is too far away from Washington D.C.

D and I were planning on going to the National Equality March. Living in Texas makes it sort of difficult.

If you haven't heard (which means you are living under a rock), there is going to be this amazing march through D.C. on October 11. Equality Across America has this amazing weekend set up, with great workshops, events, socials. If you live on the east coast, please go. If you are fund raising to get there-- let me know.

If you live in NYC, there is another super group called Broadway Impact. Here is a little bit about them from their website.

We are a community of actors, directors, stage managers, fans, producers — pretty much anyone who has ever seen, been in or worked on a Broadway show — united by the simple belief that anyone who wants to should be able to get married.

I totally love this group, and hate hate hate that I don't live in NYC right now to help them out. They have done so much-- from phone banks to fundraising to sponsoring buses so folks can get down to the March and back for free! I strongly encourage you to donate, or buy one of their nifty shirts. As Christmas Eve from Avenue Q would say "Every little bit helps".

Achoo choo

It has been a week. Sorry.

Excuse: D has come down with some terrible bronchial flu like thing that is making her miserable and I caught a weaker version... but I slept for 20 hours straight. So that feels like an odd accomplishment.

Actual Post:
Our school hosted our first GSA (Gay-Straight Alliance) meeting for the year this Monday. It was a nice turn out. Small, but dedicated. The students are focused and really passionate about our cause this year (bullying). It is also a nice mix of both and straight students, which always makes me happy. When I was in the GSA it was the "Gay and Closeted Gay Alliance" pretty much.

My role as a sponsor is to try to keep things positive. It is so easy to slip into a "Our school is so conservative" or "the kids are all so ignorant"... the list can go on. And I think by overgeneralizing those that have different opinions, we are only granting them permission to do the same thing.

Staying positive. Thinking positively. Or as Dori, from Finding Nemo, would say "just keep swimming, just keep swimming, laladada-dee-da"

I think this is something I'm trying to do in all aspects of my life right now. It is hard. Finding positive things in rather stressful areas of your life can be a challenge sometimes. Especially since it has been rainy all week-- it is amazing how weather can change your mood.

I'm not sad or depressed or anything, but I'm finding myself trying really hard to focus on the positive and not focus on the negative.

Example:
I know we are strapped for cash, the wedding budget isn't where I want it, I don't make enough money, the economy has gone down the toilet-- these are constants. I need to focus on what we are doing to make it work and how that is a good thing! More dinners at home mean more time spent cooking together. Catching up on Discovery channel is never a bad thing! And this is hella good practice for "for richer or poorer".

Or do I just sound like that All-State commercial? Are you in good hands?

Happy Friday!

Hope.

On Tuesday, Congressman Jerrold Nadler (D-NY) introduced the Respect for Marriage legislation that would repeal all three sections of the Defense of Marriage Act.

I can barely wrap my head around what that would mean for our lives. It would mean that we would be more free to choose the next place we live. Right now, we promised ourselves that we would only live in a state that recognizes same-sex marriage. But if our marriage was federally recognized, suddenly even those places that don't recognize it on a state level seem a little more possible. Sure, states rights would be ideal, but hell, we could still live in Texas, close to family and friends. What a concept.

On a larger scale it would mean so much more that I can't even comprehend. When I think about it, I don't have words to describe it. I stutter. I blink a lot. I smile.

When I think about, finally, federally recognizing these commitments, unions, marriages, call it whatever-- I am overwhelmed with happiness. Pride in who I am-- teacher, daughter, lesbian, friend, person. No longer 'under the radar', no longer 'defying convention', or 'just trying to make a statement' .... just being.

All of us... gay, straight, bill gates, whoopi goldberg, jim bob down the street. All of us the same. All of us equal. All of us granted the rights we are supposed to have.

And yet. And yet. There is always a yet. Even LGBT advocates are saying this bill won't pass. And I don't know either. This nagging reminder of the utter disappointment after Prop 8 passed--- and then passed again. It is there. We were so sure! Of course California would recognize gay marriage!! It is CALIFORNIA, for crying out loud! If California can't pass a law granting us equal rights, how can anyone have hope that something could go through federally?

I want to believe. I do. I want to think that this legislation is a reason to celebrate. A reason to think that maybe when we get married next year, it will have resonance in our home state. And though I believe it should go through, and have hope-- I also have fear. If it doesn't pass-- what happens then? What will that mean for us? Will we ever get this chance again?

For more information on the Respect for Marriage Act, check out HRC's fact sheet.

THE Dress (david's bridal, part II)

D's Dress! Which, according to the lady at David's just came in today and is ready for alterations!


From the back and from the front! (See my HUGE smile?!)



With a fun little head piece! And some goofing around.


And with two of the bridesmates! You can't tell, but the color is actually dark purple.

I think I may need to consult my etiquette book for the appropriate time for alterations... I think a year is too soon. Maybe we could do height and bustle now?

Also, huge shout out to our bridal brigadette, Sarah, for taking these fabu pictures!

Wordage

Today our engage-aversary! A whole year of being engaged and doing cute things together affianced.... instead of girlfriends, or partners.

Affianced is such a better word. Girlfriend is confusing. See, in smaller towns, conservative cities... the south in general, "girlfriend" is usually used to describe close friends who are also girls. This can lead to very confusing, and often times embarrassing interactions with all sorts of people.......

Bad For Me:
Other person: My girlfriend and I are going to that great new romantic comedy tonight!
Me: Oh how great! I didn't know you had a girlfriend? How long have you two been together?
Other person: What?
Me: What?

And then an awkward turtle is washed up on the beach of the conversation, never to leave again.

Bad for Them:
Me: My girlfriend and I are going out to see this romantic comedy movie tonight!
Other person: Oh how fun! A girls night out!
Me: ....... Yeah! Sort of! But more like a date!
Other person: But you are both girls. ooooh your girlfriend! like *giiirrrrrllll*friend. I didn't know you were gay! You know, I have a cousin who is gay.

Now, I do not know why most people, when they first learn of a friend or acquaintances sexuality, qualify their statements with "I have a "so and so" who is "gay/lesbian/bi/transgender".

Honestly, I more commonly get the "I have a friend who is "that way", which is equally infuriating and laughable at the same time. Mainly because I tend to respond with a "That way? Does she have red hair too?" and giggle to myself and then the conversation dies a very awkward death (awkward turtles and angry beached whales abound)

Maybe I should start say "Oh! I have a friend who is straight," when people start telling me about their heterosexual significant other. I wonder if that would make me the quirky, funny, lesbian, or the angry, militant one.

Anyway, I digress.

Today is our engage-aversary! We did not realize it was Sept. 11 until a few days after we were engaged-- simply referring it to "last Thursday".

Last year, we were preparing for Hurricane Ike to pummel our houses, tear down fences and cause some pretty major damage. We were both given the 12th off to prepare. So, the 11th seemed like a pretty good day. And now, even though I started the morning somberly reading about 'the horror of a bright blue morning,' I am now quite happily thinking of our engagement last year. How I proposed first, then she ran to get my ring and got down on one knee (!) and asked me by full name to marry her. And I still kinda cry a little bit thinking about it. And I feel very loved.

So, celebrate your loved ones today.

Happy Friday, y'all.

David's Bridal Excursion Part One

Photos from David's Bridal-- more to follow soon!


Harmonious is quick on the draw with bridesmaid dresses.

Clearly, my suggestion is just terrible. That is D's "Really?!" face.


A gorgeous Grecian back, with a funky front. Note varying looks of concern. NOT the dress.

But here is the style of Bridesmaid dresses. Not the color though.

Can't you just see a cardigan over it? ;) It is cuter when the model smiles, but if I show that photo I give away D's dress! And *then* I'd have nothing to blog about over the weekend.

Mmmm, Massaman Curry

So school has started, and clearly I haven't posted at all. With everything being so hectic, I must admit the blog was moved to the back burner.

But NOW! I have a schedule, so hopefully this will lead to more regular posts.

Anyhoo...
D and I are finalizing our annual pilgrimage to NYC for Thanksgiving.

It started as a fun tradition when I lived there. Some of my dear friends were attending college or living in the city/ northeast and couldn't afford to fly home to TX because of work, or school, or just lack of money. So, one took the train up from Pittsburgh and we met in my one bedroom apartment for a feast of feasts. Ever since then it has developed into a bit of a tradition. One year it was in Queens-- with a remarkably larger kitchen and dining area. Last year, it was in Hell's Kitchen, on a tiny four burner stove and mini-oven. But we still turned out at 15lb turkey and enough food to feed 17 people.

Anyway, I digress. I have a point... or rather I'm posing a question to you bloggers, readers, LGBT brides and grooms:

I know many of you folks are in NYC or the surrounding area. Anyone up for a LGBT wedding blog meeting of minds? I think it could be fun! Putting faces to blogs and making new 'real' people friends instead of 'internet bloggy friends'. I'm thinking a nice meet up for an hour or so one evening over some martinis or Thai food (we just don't have good Thai here in TX).

Is this ridiculous? Or a good idea?

Comment or send me an email at toeacherown at gmail dot com.

The Best Advice I Can Give Today--

Take an Advil (or 3), bring some water and go to a major bridal show.

I know, right? Who the hell has taken over this blog?

Seriously though. Remember that BRIDAL EXTRAVAGANZA I went to? Well, I got these ticket things when we walked through the door that you could drop off into prize bins, plus most vendors had their own 'win your own prize' sort of thing.... It has been a few weeks and so far I have received:


2 free tickets to our state Renaissance Festival ($40 value)
Free '1st dance' dance lesson ($100)
Set of wine glasses--crystal (dunno how much)
Free spa party for 8 bridal party members (probably not going to do this)
Gift Certificate to David's Bridal ($50)


Now.... I am almost positive that these awards were given to anyone that filled out the win a prize thing at the vendors tables, but I mean-- $190+ of free stuff just for filling out some forms? Yeah, okay, twist my arm-- I guess I'll do that.


Sooooo there is a catch (there is ALWAYS a catch)
To get the certificate to David's we had to set up an appointmentto try on dresses. But if you keep the appointment, you get $50 off. We kept the appointment. and D got another $50 of her dress (and I didn't even have the gift certificate).

And, The last two, we have to sit through a demonstration in order to get the prize. So the spa thing-- probably not going to do. You have to have 8 people there... blah blah and I don't want to force my friends through that just to get a $50 gift basket and a facial.

But the free crystal wine set? Well, they give us a cooking demonstration-- so we will get free food *and* some free crystal at the end. And I can deal with pushy salesfolks for free food and crystal. D would be okay without the crystal-- she is excited about the 'gourmet' meal!


I mean, the extravaganza was trying at times. There was a lot of tulle and florescent lighting... but equipped with some address labels, bridesmate JoJo and our bridal brigadette it was a pretty fun day... of course we had to look at a lot of things like this :

I had no idea that brides could fly.

But of course, if I didn't go-- I couldn't have shared that beautiful image with you.

If you live in the Houston area, there is a show this weekend. You can check out information here and the Houston Weddings Showcase.

This isn't the same company's show we went to, but the site says they have tons of door prizes. Plus, there is a printable coupon on the site for discounted tickets. Happy Friday, y'all!

What.A.Weekend.

It was an epic adventure to David's Bridal, y'all. 8 of us went.

8. Ocho. Huit.

Too many? probably. Were the David's Bridal folks annoyed? Probably. Are there photos of me making some stressypants faces? Yes.

Was it fun? hells yeah.

We left too early and arrived early for the appointment. It is true, David's Bridal is not Kleinfelds. They aren't going to give you champagne (or water) and hand select dresses based on what you want. You gotta KNOW what you want.

And we knew.

Bridesmates? check.

We had four of them (FOUR!) try on the same dress, hoping it would look good on all of them and it did! Which is awesome. We have three colors we like, and they are all complimentary. So, we are thinking they will all wear the same dress, but in the color that suits them best. That way it is cohesive but not all one color on one side and one color on the other. I think it is pretty cool. It should look pretty!

And the dresses are, from what I can tell, pretty low/mid-range for bridesmaid dresses. We have to double check that that style isn't going to be discontinued and one of our 'choice' colors isn't available in the style, but we are flexible people. And as D's bridesmate Harmonious kept repeating all day 'you can just throw a cardigan over it and wear it again!'... Sarcasmo to the rescue! (but in my opinion, you totally could throw a cardigan on it and wear it again).

And D's wedding dress? Did we know what we wanted?

Yes. And we got it. D's dress is taken care of. And it was around the same price as mine thanks to some handy gift certificate and some special the store was running!* We ordered her size and it'll be in soonish.

Our friend and bridal brigadette, Sarah, who is a fabu photographer came along for the journey to take some photos. So, when those are all put together, I'll post some pics and info on the rest of the day.

What an epic week!

*Note to future brides going to David's to look at dresses-- they are always having some sort of sale.

I'm walking on sunshine!

Oh my folks! All of your comments about my dress have just made me feel like a rockstar beauty! Thank you so much! Thank you thank you!

No. Really. Thank You!

On Sunday, literally half of our wedding partay is heading down to Houston for an adventure at David's Bridal. We will be loud, excited and have a great time! It is going to be a big day! We are picking final colors, bridesmates will be trying on dresses, we will be searching for a dress for D. Actually, D already has a dress she found that she lurves, but it is a little over our budget. Yes, we made that terrible mistake of trying things on we can't afford. BUT in our defense, we just forgot to look at the price tag. We didn't knowingly decide to try something on $300 more that we are willing to spend!

I've been reading a lot of blogs and it seems that David's Bridal gets a lot of flack, as do the brides that buy their dresses there. I saw on one indie blog, a person who apologized for getting their dress at David's. Why apologize? I mean, we all know it is the Wal-Mart of wedding dresses. And yes, there are other people who will have your dress. And yes, it is marketing on the whole 'wedding industry'. But their dresses are cheap as hell. I mean, it is ridiculous how cheap they are. And I say GOOD FOR YOU! <-- look I yelled it even. You got a dress you love, and one that you feel beautiful in for a hella cheap price. You don't need to apologize; you need to pat yourself of the back and give an Andre champagne toast to your budget savvy ways. It seems sometimes that brides try so hard to be unique or special that they go almost full circle and conform to non-conformity.

Any comments?

Remember, when it comes to commenting-- snark is welcome, but rude people aren't.