Rich Bride, Poor Bride

There is this new show on the TV (Women's Entertainment) called Rich Bride, Poor Bride. Maybe it isn't new, but it is new to me. And it is terrible. And amazing. And I sort of throw up a little bit when I watch it. But. I. Just. Can't. Look. Away.

I just watch these brides talk about how the day is all about them. and they are the princess. and their lactose intolerant grooms should shell out the bucks to rent an ice cream truck.

I was up till 4am last night watching this show (and Platinum Weddings-- which is pretty much the problem with America right now in 30 minutes). And I just kept getting mad! At the show! At me for watching the show and judging these brides extravagant decisions. I mean, if I had $400,000 dollars I would buy a house, but maybe they really really do care about the 700 guests, and it is money well spent.

Here was the biggest problem of all-- I was feeling 'wedding inferiority', aka my wedding isn't 'chic' enough, or cool enough, or whatever enough. And then I was feeling 'wedding superiority', aka my wedding is much more meaningful, or just plain better. And then! I felt bad for both.

We try to hard not to judge people! But there I was! Sitting and judging. And, to be honest-- I sort of liked it, in one of those twisted snarky ways. But like most things that are bad for you, I'm going to have to cut back.

I will say though, some of these weddings were gorgeous and gave me some fun ideas! I just need to remove a few zeros of the cost.

For instance-- One bride had the guests throw rose petals as the couple exited the aisle. I love this! I think it is fun and sweet and will make for a pretty awesome moment. Check this photo out:

See? Isn't that pretty?! Main difference between our wedding and the one I saw on TV? The roses won't be imported from Holland and placed in 24karat bowls. SAMs club and some pails should do just fine.

When do you take a stand? When do you sit and watch?

This weekend we are traveling to a small(er) town in North Texas for a wedding. I couldn't be happier for this couple. Seeing them together just makes me smile and they share the same ideals, the same goals in life-- this guy and gal have been through thick and thin already and I know that this wedding will be a true celebration of love, devotion, happiness, quirkiness.... etc. Happiness all around.

But did I mention it is in a small town near the Oklahoma border? Conservative City. My fiancee and I, personally, know the groom. The bride and I would be what I call "step-friends". As in, in a group we are chums, but I would never just call her and ask her out for coffee without her significant other.

So, this week D and I are getting ready for the wedding and she turns and asks "Are we going as a couple? Or are we going as roommates?"

It is sad. But I thought "Oh, shit. I better check with the groom first."

Some of you may say-- "NO! You are who you are and people can just suck it!". Or "How dare you deny your love?" Or something along those lines.

And I agree.

But, (here's the big ol' but). It isn't our wedding. This isn't even one of our best friends weddings. This is a wedding of a good friend, and it is not my job to take a stand at their wedding and make their family or less open friends uncomfortable. That. is. not. my. job. My job, as a guest, is to celebrate with them and for them.

But I asked the groom anyway.

His response?

"Of course you are a couple. I invited you as a couple, not as roommates. And I'm in theatre-- so my family better understand that I have gay friends. And they better be okay with it. This is my wedding."

And I smiled, thanked him-- double checked a few times-- and then called D to tell her. So, with his blessing, we will be dancing together at the wedding. Slow dancing even! Not just the chicken dance.

But what if he said no? Could I really blame him?

I don't know if I could.

Gay wedding etiquette. It just seems more complicated than it should be.