Monday, December 28, 2009

Sloth is A Terrible Thing

And my new year's resolution is going to try and post on a regular basis, because sometimes I just plain forget.

But as promised... The awesome thanksgiving place settings. These things are so cool! Great for any kind of party!

Bridesmate, Kathryn,made these fancy little things! And here is the rundown:

  • Chunk/Sliver crayons. I believe it is easier to do one color, and then start on the next while the first is drying.
  • Heat/Melt the crayon bits in silicone baking cups... this makes clean up MUCH easier.
  • Turn wine cups upside down on newspaper and then drizzle the melted crayon on with a spoon! Then twirl the cup! ... if you'd like
  • Let them dry!
You can even do it on plates!

I love this! And Kathryn did such a great job. She turned plain old clear plastic cups and plates into lovely pieces that enhanced the atmosphere... and I'm pretty sure she only used a few boxes of crayons... and the off brand kind! So it couldn't have cost more than $10.00 for the supplies (minus the plates and stemware, of course)

Photos by my lovely friend, Katelyn!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Glenn Beck can Suck It, Part 1 (most likely)

I'm a little pissypants over this "Keep Christ is Christmas" biz. Glenn Beck is spitting and spewing and crying (he cries a lot!) over the phrase "Happy Holidays". Saying that America is losing values by trying to be politically correct.

Hold the phone, Glenn. Mayhaps your are jumping to a sensationalized conclusion, eh? I have always felt that Happy Holidays was an all encompassing wish to have a pleasant Christmas and New Years (for the Christians) or Channukah and New Years (for the Jewish folks) and so on and so on.

Shoot, if you start saying it in November, it can even include Thanksgiving. What's the big deal, Glenn? What is wrong with trying to encompass multiple holidays in one? I won't even get started on the fact that the ACTUAL Christmas Day wasn't a holiday in the US until 1870 or so... or that the Church of England (Cromwell, to be exact) tried to outlaw Christmas because it WASN'T the day of Jesus' birth then... it was still pretty much a pagan holiday...

But that is some figgy pudding I'm not going to touch today.

I've been gone for a while, huh? We had Thanksgiving up in NYC with 22 of our closest friends in a 2 bedroom apartment and it was glorious. Speaking of glorious.... on the morning of Thanksgiving, Deborah ran a 5 mile Turkey Trot with some of our friends and our team name?

The Inglorious Basters.

Oh yes. It even had a turkey with an eye patch on it. And on the back?

We suspect fowl play.

It was pretty great. Soon (hopefully tomorrow!) I will post the DIY dinner place settings my bridesmate Kathryn made! Here is a sneak peak:

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Full Speed Ahead!

The holidays are fast approaching, and D and I are gearing up for our epic mini-vacation to New York City for the Thanksgiving break. I love this time of year! But I feel like it goes by too fast. First you leisurely waltz into Halloween, then you have a nice month of fall and then Thanksgiving but then BAM, just like my parents 180lb St. Bernard, Christmas knocks you over and says I'M HERE! I'M HERE!

That St. Bernard in question is Suki. And that Basset is Lily. Imagine THESE GALS running full speed to greet you!
Now, imagine it with a SANTA hat.

Epic planners (and budget conscious folk too) we are starting to plan out what to buy family and how much to spend, etc. And the question of multiple gifts keeps popping up. As in, do we buy each person a gift separately? Or one together? This question is particularly difficult when it pertains to gifts for D's family.

Oh, yes. We will be visiting them over the holidays. We will be going there for a day or two to celebrate with her family. And D has made it very clear that we go together or don't got at all. And gifts will be bought, and Christmas will be had. But do we buy one gift? two? one each?

Do I seem like I'm trying too hard if I buy them one, separately, as well? Will they read it as a ploy to get them to accept our relationship/like me as a person/not see me as the scaaaaaaaary lesbian that took their precious daughter away? Or me being that nice friendly girl they once thought as a "part of their family" (exact quote!)

I think it is rude for me NOT to get them a gift, they are after all my fiancee's parents. Especially if I am going to be spending part of the holidays with them. But I also think putting our both our names on a gift may be seen as cheap?

Bridesmate Jackie of All Trades believes that once rings are on hands, gifts are given as a couple. But I'm just not so sure.


Friday, November 6, 2009

Moving On, Moving Up

We are still pretty bummed about Maine. All in all Wednesday was pretty crappy. I accidentally kept crying when my students or co-workers asked about it... Thankfully I also have bad allergies right now so I could turn my from blithering idiot and into a fake sneeze or two. No need for students to see me semi-defeated for a day.

Most heartwarming were former students of mine who had nice little "f@!* you, Maine" facebook statuses, it is nice to know that they support marriage equality! And all of the great comments that I got on the blog made me smile in my heart.

If you didn't hear, Houston is in a run-off for mayor and Annise Parker could be the first openly gay woman to be governor in HOUSTON FREAKING TEXAS.

This is more than big. This is huge.
And this is even huge-r for Texas.
Huger isn't even a word, folks..... that is how HUGE this thing is.

My new friend, Meghan and her wife Lindsay, (who also happen to be founders of Impact Houston) are trying to fund-raise for Annise and have created their own fundraising page.I know after Maine's defeat, I wanted to throw my support behind SOMETHING (that wasn't HRC this time around). And I'm definitely planning on donating to her campaign to help her win the race.

You can donate here!

Also, Erica over at Bi-Wedding Diaries, had a great post about her feelings on Maine and a link to an Etsy shop that is donating profits to No H8. You should check out her blog first, and then the etsy shop next.

Hope everyone has plans for a happy weekend!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

No Crumbs...

I have been dreaming about my wedding since I was 5. When I was in high school and college and had a bad day, I would go buy a bridal magazine. True story. I would peruse through those glossy pages and bookmark or tear out things I liked. Then, like any good theatre designer, I'd put them in an image book... to keep safe.

Just because I never thought or planned about a having a groom doesn't mean I'm not entitled to standing in front of friends and family and saying vows to the one I love. And it doesn't now. But, apparently 53% of Maine and my home state and half of bloody America think my 'commitment ceremony' (i loathe that phrase) is just fine and dandy as long as I don't want the rights and privileges of straight couples.

Well, I'm pissed. I'm glaring a lot. Just the fact that we have to go outside of the state we were raised in to get married is insulting enough. And now, with Prop 1 passing....

Last year, I was devastated. When Prop 8 passed, Deb and I couldn't talk about it. She went out and ate an entire thing of cookie dough. I smoked a lot of cigarettes. It wasn't pleasant by any means. I can't believe it has already been a year.

I have a lot of mixed emotions. Part of me doesn't want to make a big deal out of this. Part of me just wants to get married like the rest of the population. I just want to celebrate and then be a wife and not HAVE to be a part of this. Another part (the more prominent) knows that just by having a blessing in Texas we are making some sort of stand. We are drawing attention to ourselves (blog or no blog) and creating conversations and hopefully changing people's minds with every vendor, every person we talk to.

D and Me? We're the same as you. We want the same things in our life. We wanted to get married.

A saw this on twitter (I know, lame), but it made me laugh in a way that I feel like sums everything up:

"I don't want crumbs anymore, I want the whole damn wedding cake."

I will raise a toast to that.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Falling in love with fall colors (awwww)

Trying my hand at inspiration boards.... now that I have photoshop on my computer! I'm slowly falling more and more in love with these colors, and I know how much easier (read: cheaper) they will be since they will be in season.

And do you love those invitations?
Because we do, and we decided about 3 months ago to splurge and make them OURS! We were going to change the color, but if we go fall-- we won't have to... and I love that orange and cream! The best part about the shop owners, Golden Rectangle Press is that they ACTUALLY HAVE A SAME SEX INVITE on their page. Which I appreciate more than anything. I think it is one thing to support same sex marriage, but another thing entirely to put examples up on your site. So, Thanks for that one, awesome shop owner!

The Facts and Links:
Brilliant letterpress invites from Etsy shop owner, Golden Rectangle Press.
Gorgeous Cottage Photo From Evrim Icoz Photography in Portland.
Pretty Orchid Centerpiece from bridesmate Harmonious-- who found it on
The rest-- google image search: fall wedding

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Things I Love Right Now....

1. The fact that I am finally coming out of a two 70+ hour work weeks and can start thinking about things other than theatre again!

2. The Sugar-Free Red Bulls that got me through these two weeks.

3. Celebrating engage-a-versaries, monthaversaries, and now our *official* two year anniversary.

4. The fancy invitations we fell in love with.

5. Our Halloween costumes (we are going as "Infomercials" with Snuggies, TurbieTowels, Shakeweights and other fun things we can think of!)

6. Fall Bouquets. Cue color crisis.

Aren't they just so purty?

Monday, October 12, 2009

Photoshop Fiends!

Thank you for all the suggestions! I am going to try and working on the suggestions today or tomorrow, and then repost.

This may seem like a silly question, but I actually couldn't think of a decent answer for it.

How the heck do you send magnet save the dates?

Do you put them in an envelope? That seems a little odd. And rude-- just a magnet, no explanation. I don't like that idea at all. Maybe a postcard with a magnet attached?

What if we did massive postcard sized save the dates ala VistaPrint (thanks for that bit of advice, DangerJane!) How much would postage cost? I don't even want to think about it.

I would just say screw it all together, EXCEPT for the fact that our wedding is so close to Thanksgiving-- I want folks to be able to plan accordingly!

What did you do?

Friday, October 9, 2009

Photoshop Phun

Spent around 35 minutes messing around on the photoshop, and this is what I came up with.

I think it is maybe a little bit too busy. But it got my creative ideas flowing. Thoughts?

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Coulda been a contender

We've been going back and forth on to send Save the Dates, or not. To make save the dates, or not. To just call people, or send out facebook invites (which we deemed not okay).

A large majority of our guests are out of towners, so it is important that they know and know early about when the wedding is, and how long they should plan on being in town and such things... and so maybe we will just send out STDs....

wait a minute--- STDs? That sounds terrible. "Sending out some STDs today"

So wrong.

Anywho-- so maybe we will send out Save the Dates only to our out of town folks..... But what to send?

a postcard.

a magnet.

Then we thought magnet postcard? But that seemed silly. And giant.

And option 3.4 -- D's brother is a pretty highfalutin web comic, and he offered to draw our save the dates, which would be awesome! Except that he has a pretty morose sense of humor, which is awesome and hilarious, and it may not be appropriate for a pre-wedding invite thingamagig.

And then we found these on etsy:

And I LOVE these! They are so fun! But-- can we make these? Should we try? I smell an adventure with stamps and pretty paper....

P.S.-- The Etsy store is Beth Blinebury and she has really really great party invites and adorable save the dates!

Friday, October 2, 2009

Food! Glorious Food!

With our wedding date almost a year away, I've deemed it time to think about food tasting. After all, if we want fresh, local vegetables we need to make sure they are in season! It is also a really good opportunity to meet up with our venue again and talk progress. The Astin Mansion has in house catering, which is awesome. And their food is delicious... even better. They have varied options from light snacks to a full sit down meal. We are going in the middle at the standard, good old fashioned buffet.

To be honest, I hate sit down weddings, and D out right despises them. They seem stuffy, pretentious and really boring. Plus, how can we mingle with our guests and eat at the same time if it is a sit down meal? Carry our plates and hover?


So, buffet it is. With tables provided for those who wish to sit. And taller tables for those who wish to stand, but not hover and carry their plates.

What kind of food are you planning on serving? Or if you aren't planning a wedding right now-- what kind of food do you think is totally awesome to eat at weddings?

Monday, September 28, 2009

Why I don't like Texas right now....

It is too far away from Washington D.C.

D and I were planning on going to the National Equality March. Living in Texas makes it sort of difficult.

If you haven't heard (which means you are living under a rock), there is going to be this amazing march through D.C. on October 11. Equality Across America has this amazing weekend set up, with great workshops, events, socials. If you live on the east coast, please go. If you are fund raising to get there-- let me know.

If you live in NYC, there is another super group called Broadway Impact. Here is a little bit about them from their website.

We are a community of actors, directors, stage managers, fans, producers — pretty much anyone who has ever seen, been in or worked on a Broadway show — united by the simple belief that anyone who wants to should be able to get married.

I totally love this group, and hate hate hate that I don't live in NYC right now to help them out. They have done so much-- from phone banks to fundraising to sponsoring buses so folks can get down to the March and back for free! I strongly encourage you to donate, or buy one of their nifty shirts. As Christmas Eve from Avenue Q would say "Every little bit helps".

Friday, September 25, 2009

Achoo choo

It has been a week. Sorry.

Excuse: D has come down with some terrible bronchial flu like thing that is making her miserable and I caught a weaker version... but I slept for 20 hours straight. So that feels like an odd accomplishment.

Actual Post:
Our school hosted our first GSA (Gay-Straight Alliance) meeting for the year this Monday. It was a nice turn out. Small, but dedicated. The students are focused and really passionate about our cause this year (bullying). It is also a nice mix of both and straight students, which always makes me happy. When I was in the GSA it was the "Gay and Closeted Gay Alliance" pretty much.

My role as a sponsor is to try to keep things positive. It is so easy to slip into a "Our school is so conservative" or "the kids are all so ignorant"... the list can go on. And I think by overgeneralizing those that have different opinions, we are only granting them permission to do the same thing.

Staying positive. Thinking positively. Or as Dori, from Finding Nemo, would say "just keep swimming, just keep swimming, laladada-dee-da"

I think this is something I'm trying to do in all aspects of my life right now. It is hard. Finding positive things in rather stressful areas of your life can be a challenge sometimes. Especially since it has been rainy all week-- it is amazing how weather can change your mood.

I'm not sad or depressed or anything, but I'm finding myself trying really hard to focus on the positive and not focus on the negative.

I know we are strapped for cash, the wedding budget isn't where I want it, I don't make enough money, the economy has gone down the toilet-- these are constants. I need to focus on what we are doing to make it work and how that is a good thing! More dinners at home mean more time spent cooking together. Catching up on Discovery channel is never a bad thing! And this is hella good practice for "for richer or poorer".

Or do I just sound like that All-State commercial? Are you in good hands?

Happy Friday!

Thursday, September 17, 2009


On Tuesday, Congressman Jerrold Nadler (D-NY) introduced the Respect for Marriage legislation that would repeal all three sections of the Defense of Marriage Act.

I can barely wrap my head around what that would mean for our lives. It would mean that we would be more free to choose the next place we live. Right now, we promised ourselves that we would only live in a state that recognizes same-sex marriage. But if our marriage was federally recognized, suddenly even those places that don't recognize it on a state level seem a little more possible. Sure, states rights would be ideal, but hell, we could still live in Texas, close to family and friends. What a concept.

On a larger scale it would mean so much more that I can't even comprehend. When I think about it, I don't have words to describe it. I stutter. I blink a lot. I smile.

When I think about, finally, federally recognizing these commitments, unions, marriages, call it whatever-- I am overwhelmed with happiness. Pride in who I am-- teacher, daughter, lesbian, friend, person. No longer 'under the radar', no longer 'defying convention', or 'just trying to make a statement' .... just being.

All of us... gay, straight, bill gates, whoopi goldberg, jim bob down the street. All of us the same. All of us equal. All of us granted the rights we are supposed to have.

And yet. And yet. There is always a yet. Even LGBT advocates are saying this bill won't pass. And I don't know either. This nagging reminder of the utter disappointment after Prop 8 passed--- and then passed again. It is there. We were so sure! Of course California would recognize gay marriage!! It is CALIFORNIA, for crying out loud! If California can't pass a law granting us equal rights, how can anyone have hope that something could go through federally?

I want to believe. I do. I want to think that this legislation is a reason to celebrate. A reason to think that maybe when we get married next year, it will have resonance in our home state. And though I believe it should go through, and have hope-- I also have fear. If it doesn't pass-- what happens then? What will that mean for us? Will we ever get this chance again?

For more information on the Respect for Marriage Act, check out HRC's fact sheet.

Monday, September 14, 2009

THE Dress (david's bridal, part II)

D's Dress! Which, according to the lady at David's just came in today and is ready for alterations!

From the back and from the front! (See my HUGE smile?!)

With a fun little head piece! And some goofing around.

And with two of the bridesmates! You can't tell, but the color is actually dark purple.

I think I may need to consult my etiquette book for the appropriate time for alterations... I think a year is too soon. Maybe we could do height and bustle now?

Also, huge shout out to our bridal brigadette, Sarah, for taking these fabu pictures!

Friday, September 11, 2009


Today our engage-aversary! A whole year of being engaged and doing cute things together affianced.... instead of girlfriends, or partners.

Affianced is such a better word. Girlfriend is confusing. See, in smaller towns, conservative cities... the south in general, "girlfriend" is usually used to describe close friends who are also girls. This can lead to very confusing, and often times embarrassing interactions with all sorts of people.......

Bad For Me:
Other person: My girlfriend and I are going to that great new romantic comedy tonight!
Me: Oh how great! I didn't know you had a girlfriend? How long have you two been together?
Other person: What?
Me: What?

And then an awkward turtle is washed up on the beach of the conversation, never to leave again.

Bad for Them:
Me: My girlfriend and I are going out to see this romantic comedy movie tonight!
Other person: Oh how fun! A girls night out!
Me: ....... Yeah! Sort of! But more like a date!
Other person: But you are both girls. ooooh your girlfriend! like *giiirrrrrllll*friend. I didn't know you were gay! You know, I have a cousin who is gay.

Now, I do not know why most people, when they first learn of a friend or acquaintances sexuality, qualify their statements with "I have a "so and so" who is "gay/lesbian/bi/transgender".

Honestly, I more commonly get the "I have a friend who is "that way", which is equally infuriating and laughable at the same time. Mainly because I tend to respond with a "That way? Does she have red hair too?" and giggle to myself and then the conversation dies a very awkward death (awkward turtles and angry beached whales abound)

Maybe I should start say "Oh! I have a friend who is straight," when people start telling me about their heterosexual significant other. I wonder if that would make me the quirky, funny, lesbian, or the angry, militant one.

Anyway, I digress.

Today is our engage-aversary! We did not realize it was Sept. 11 until a few days after we were engaged-- simply referring it to "last Thursday".

Last year, we were preparing for Hurricane Ike to pummel our houses, tear down fences and cause some pretty major damage. We were both given the 12th off to prepare. So, the 11th seemed like a pretty good day. And now, even though I started the morning somberly reading about 'the horror of a bright blue morning,' I am now quite happily thinking of our engagement last year. How I proposed first, then she ran to get my ring and got down on one knee (!) and asked me by full name to marry her. And I still kinda cry a little bit thinking about it. And I feel very loved.

So, celebrate your loved ones today.

Happy Friday, y'all.

Friday, September 4, 2009

David's Bridal Excursion Part One

Photos from David's Bridal-- more to follow soon!

Harmonious is quick on the draw with bridesmaid dresses.

Clearly, my suggestion is just terrible. That is D's "Really?!" face.

A gorgeous Grecian back, with a funky front. Note varying looks of concern. NOT the dress.

But here is the style of Bridesmaid dresses. Not the color though.

Can't you just see a cardigan over it? ;) It is cuter when the model smiles, but if I show that photo I give away D's dress! And *then* I'd have nothing to blog about over the weekend.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Mmmm, Massaman Curry

So school has started, and clearly I haven't posted at all. With everything being so hectic, I must admit the blog was moved to the back burner.

But NOW! I have a schedule, so hopefully this will lead to more regular posts.

D and I are finalizing our annual pilgrimage to NYC for Thanksgiving.

It started as a fun tradition when I lived there. Some of my dear friends were attending college or living in the city/ northeast and couldn't afford to fly home to TX because of work, or school, or just lack of money. So, one took the train up from Pittsburgh and we met in my one bedroom apartment for a feast of feasts. Ever since then it has developed into a bit of a tradition. One year it was in Queens-- with a remarkably larger kitchen and dining area. Last year, it was in Hell's Kitchen, on a tiny four burner stove and mini-oven. But we still turned out at 15lb turkey and enough food to feed 17 people.

Anyway, I digress. I have a point... or rather I'm posing a question to you bloggers, readers, LGBT brides and grooms:

I know many of you folks are in NYC or the surrounding area. Anyone up for a LGBT wedding blog meeting of minds? I think it could be fun! Putting faces to blogs and making new 'real' people friends instead of 'internet bloggy friends'. I'm thinking a nice meet up for an hour or so one evening over some martinis or Thai food (we just don't have good Thai here in TX).

Is this ridiculous? Or a good idea?

Comment or send me an email at toeacherown at gmail dot com.

Friday, August 21, 2009

The Best Advice I Can Give Today--

Take an Advil (or 3), bring some water and go to a major bridal show.

I know, right? Who the hell has taken over this blog?

Seriously though. Remember that BRIDAL EXTRAVAGANZA I went to? Well, I got these ticket things when we walked through the door that you could drop off into prize bins, plus most vendors had their own 'win your own prize' sort of thing.... It has been a few weeks and so far I have received:

2 free tickets to our state Renaissance Festival ($40 value)
Free '1st dance' dance lesson ($100)
Set of wine glasses--crystal (dunno how much)
Free spa party for 8 bridal party members (probably not going to do this)
Gift Certificate to David's Bridal ($50)

Now.... I am almost positive that these awards were given to anyone that filled out the win a prize thing at the vendors tables, but I mean-- $190+ of free stuff just for filling out some forms? Yeah, okay, twist my arm-- I guess I'll do that.

Sooooo there is a catch (there is ALWAYS a catch)
To get the certificate to David's we had to set up an appointmentto try on dresses. But if you keep the appointment, you get $50 off. We kept the appointment. and D got another $50 of her dress (and I didn't even have the gift certificate).

And, The last two, we have to sit through a demonstration in order to get the prize. So the spa thing-- probably not going to do. You have to have 8 people there... blah blah and I don't want to force my friends through that just to get a $50 gift basket and a facial.

But the free crystal wine set? Well, they give us a cooking demonstration-- so we will get free food *and* some free crystal at the end. And I can deal with pushy salesfolks for free food and crystal. D would be okay without the crystal-- she is excited about the 'gourmet' meal!

I mean, the extravaganza was trying at times. There was a lot of tulle and florescent lighting... but equipped with some address labels, bridesmate JoJo and our bridal brigadette it was a pretty fun day... of course we had to look at a lot of things like this :

I had no idea that brides could fly.

But of course, if I didn't go-- I couldn't have shared that beautiful image with you.

If you live in the Houston area, there is a show this weekend. You can check out information here and the Houston Weddings Showcase.

This isn't the same company's show we went to, but the site says they have tons of door prizes. Plus, there is a printable coupon on the site for discounted tickets. Happy Friday, y'all!

Monday, August 17, 2009


It was an epic adventure to David's Bridal, y'all. 8 of us went.

8. Ocho. Huit.

Too many? probably. Were the David's Bridal folks annoyed? Probably. Are there photos of me making some stressypants faces? Yes.

Was it fun? hells yeah.

We left too early and arrived early for the appointment. It is true, David's Bridal is not Kleinfelds. They aren't going to give you champagne (or water) and hand select dresses based on what you want. You gotta KNOW what you want.

And we knew.

Bridesmates? check.

We had four of them (FOUR!) try on the same dress, hoping it would look good on all of them and it did! Which is awesome. We have three colors we like, and they are all complimentary. So, we are thinking they will all wear the same dress, but in the color that suits them best. That way it is cohesive but not all one color on one side and one color on the other. I think it is pretty cool. It should look pretty!

And the dresses are, from what I can tell, pretty low/mid-range for bridesmaid dresses. We have to double check that that style isn't going to be discontinued and one of our 'choice' colors isn't available in the style, but we are flexible people. And as D's bridesmate Harmonious kept repeating all day 'you can just throw a cardigan over it and wear it again!'... Sarcasmo to the rescue! (but in my opinion, you totally could throw a cardigan on it and wear it again).

And D's wedding dress? Did we know what we wanted?

Yes. And we got it. D's dress is taken care of. And it was around the same price as mine thanks to some handy gift certificate and some special the store was running!* We ordered her size and it'll be in soonish.

Our friend and bridal brigadette, Sarah, who is a fabu photographer came along for the journey to take some photos. So, when those are all put together, I'll post some pics and info on the rest of the day.

What an epic week!

*Note to future brides going to David's to look at dresses-- they are always having some sort of sale.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

I'm walking on sunshine!

Oh my folks! All of your comments about my dress have just made me feel like a rockstar beauty! Thank you so much! Thank you thank you!

No. Really. Thank You!

On Sunday, literally half of our wedding partay is heading down to Houston for an adventure at David's Bridal. We will be loud, excited and have a great time! It is going to be a big day! We are picking final colors, bridesmates will be trying on dresses, we will be searching for a dress for D. Actually, D already has a dress she found that she lurves, but it is a little over our budget. Yes, we made that terrible mistake of trying things on we can't afford. BUT in our defense, we just forgot to look at the price tag. We didn't knowingly decide to try something on $300 more that we are willing to spend!

I've been reading a lot of blogs and it seems that David's Bridal gets a lot of flack, as do the brides that buy their dresses there. I saw on one indie blog, a person who apologized for getting their dress at David's. Why apologize? I mean, we all know it is the Wal-Mart of wedding dresses. And yes, there are other people who will have your dress. And yes, it is marketing on the whole 'wedding industry'. But their dresses are cheap as hell. I mean, it is ridiculous how cheap they are. And I say GOOD FOR YOU! <-- look I yelled it even. You got a dress you love, and one that you feel beautiful in for a hella cheap price. You don't need to apologize; you need to pat yourself of the back and give an Andre champagne toast to your budget savvy ways. It seems sometimes that brides try so hard to be unique or special that they go almost full circle and conform to non-conformity.

Any comments?

Remember, when it comes to commenting-- snark is welcome, but rude people aren't.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

When you least expect it...

You find what you are looking for.

I had this whole damn post typed up yesterday but blogger refused to post it for some stupid reason and then when when I went to edit the post today I realized that blogger only saved half of the dang thing. I'd be frustrated but I'm still on such a 'holy crap I found my dress' high that pretty much everything is okay with the world. I even vacuumed this morning.

SO-- Here's the cool story:

On a standard errand run the other day, co-worker/bridesmate/jackieofalltrades and I are a little bored and a little sleepy. We pass a new bridal store.

"You want to go in?" jackie asks
"I mean, I'm kind of set on that trip to Houston next weekend, but we can look at styles"
"Why not?"

So we go in. And the wonderfully nice woman, at this very new little store says hello and asks what I am looking for. I told her I was looking for a tea length retro 50s sort of thing. And she smiled politely and told me she didn't have anything like that. I mean, I wasn't surprised. Not in a bad way, but my town is very big on cupcake dresses. Anyways, she mentions that sample (read: cheaper) dresses are in the back of the store, and as a plus size gal I jokingly suggest we go look because sample sizes ALWAYS fit folks larger than a size 6. Always. Because the wedding industry and the fashion industry just LOVE ladies who don't look like they could keel over from lack of food-- (I could go on).

But you know what?! They had sample dresses all the way up to 24. And all the way down to 4. Now granted, they had tons of 4,6,8,10 and even a large amount of 12s and it sort of dwindled, but they had a few dresses in my size, so I went to try them on.

The first one was terrible. The rouching was in an awkward position. There was a bit too much bling. I wasn't a cupcake, but I was sort of a bisquit blob of fabric and ill proportioned awful.

But the second one? I put it on, jackie zipped it up and I looked at myself and I said "WOW".
WOW In a good way. Usually I say "WOW" in a bad way-- in a 'really-i-actually-have-this-terrible-thing-on-right-now?" But no. This was a "Holy-crap-I-Look-Gorgeous".

And I got all blushy and giggly and felt bride-y and I didn't want to claw my eyes out or punch myself in the face or cry because I felt so fat and how o how would I ever look decent on my wedding day.

I felt really damn pretty.

BUT (there usually is a but)-- it was strapless. and I don't like strapless. But I always like boleros so the nice store lady went and grabbed me a lace bolero to try on with the dress and then I said WOWOWOWOWOW. Wanna see?

See my happy jazz hands? Isn't it oh-so vintage glam? Just the right amount of sparkle, beautiful lace overlay. It is a champagne-y sort of color so I don't look like a freaky ginger child. And it is just pretty. Pretty. Pretty. (and slimming!)

And then we tried a dark blue satin 'bolero' and I said WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW. But I don't have a photo of that. But here is a close-up!

The best part? The dress is under $375. In fact, all of their samples are under $450. So, ladies in Texas! If you haven't found your dress, and you don't mind a bit of a drive, send me an email, because you may find your dress at this store.

Happy day!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

You guys...

I found my dress.

I put down a deposit.

I'm so excited!

Monday, August 3, 2009

I feel like my little blog has grown up a little bit.

So I officially have a nice little email specifically for the blog. If you have a question, a comment or want to send me a cool ass picture of something you can email me at toeacherown at gmail dot com.

Also, I am big twitter kid and love reading other people's twitter (doesn't that sounds just a bit dirty?) but decided to start one for this blog to keep a nice privacy barrier up for my own personal account.

So if you want to follow me on twitter: toeacherown

Happy Monday!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Things I've Learned This Weekend

  • Etsy has 372 pages of wedding invitations.
  • It will take roughly 4-5 hours to look through all 372 pages.
  • You can start with 30 invites you like.
  • You will end up with 6 you REALLY like and want to order samples of.
  • Letterpress invitations are pretty pretty pretty and $$$$$
  • We will most likely end up DIYing *some* of the components of the invites.
  • My love of etsy holds no bounds.

Friday, July 31, 2009

Mark Your Calendars!

We set the date! We toured the Astin Mansion on Wednesday morning, guided by our fabulous on-site coordinator, all around cool gal, Kristin. I brought the camera to take photos, but was in so much awe from how pretty the dang place was, that I forgot to take pictures. You can look at this post to see where the ceremony will take place (outside) and the possible dance floor room.

As I discussed previously, we were deciding between two dates (October 10 and November 20). We we went with neither.

I am so crazy happy to say that we will be getting married on November 21, 2010 (11.21.10)!

This day is beyond brilliant and we didn't even realize it until minutes before we started the tour. Let me explain:

You see, D and I are crazy X-Files fans. Like, whoa. In fact, much of the wooing and cute pre-dating flirting and conversations occurred around D coming over and watching old X-Files episodes. And 11.21 is a huge reference/important thing in the X-Files world. 11.21 is always seen in a time stamp, important things in the X-Files ALWAYS happen at 11:21 (am or pm). Creator Chris Carter did this as a nod to his wife's birthday. Sweet huh?


It is so perfect-- a nod to our beginnings, et all and we didn't even realize it! I love how that works out sometimes.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

It is 11:35pm, do you know where your bloggers are?

I am wide awake and watching TV. We have just completed a preliminary guest list, and we are looking at roughly 150-175 guests, which I think is bigger than we want? Our meeting with the venue is tomorrow early a.m.

I can't sleep. I think it is a combination of excitement and some new medication I'm on. You see, el doctor and el fiancee are concerned about el chubby (me) getting a little too chubby and falling down the diabetes stairs. A fair concern. Honestly, a serious concern probably, but I don't like to think about it. You see, I started this blog when I was recovering from a pilonidal cyst removal in January. And due to the surgery (and the cysts) I can't really just start exercising more. Basically, I can walk or swim. And basically, my fat-ass isn't going to a public pool in a swimsuit. Call it hubris or pride or whatever, but it ain't happening. So I've started walking (nothing too crazy now) and I'm on a crazy restrictive diet and some meds to kick start my metabolism.

Just so you know 'kick start your metabolism' may or may not be doctor language for 'form of speed'. I've only been on the medication for three days, but I haven't stopped bouncing. Cue the soundtrack from 'Requiem for a Dream'.

Actually, I'm sleeping just fine, but for shorter intervals. I feel totally rested (more rested than before I started taking the meds, strangely). I am excited that this may be what I need to start losing all the weight I gained post surgery and get pack to my 'don't mess with me I may look mushy but I'm pretty scrappy' weight.

On a totall unrelated note-- if I reply to a post, do people who have already commented get notification? This has confuzzled (not a word, I know) me since I started the blog.

Going to the venue!

Tomorrow, my folks, D, one of our bridesmates and myself are venturing down to the Astin Mansion to set the date!

I am so excited! We are definitely leaning more towards November 20th. The conference issue I talked about earlier was easily solved by finding another conference that we can attend in January and after talking to friends, though 10.10.10 is an epically awesome date, 11.20.10 is just as cool and much easier travel wise.

I'm looking forward to this first venue meeting as we will be discussing a whole bunch of things-- like the food, decorations, etc, since a lot of it is all inclusive! So big post tomorrow! Also, Bridesmate JoJo and Bridal Brigadette Miller and I traveled down to Houston on Saturday to attend the BRIDAL EXTRAVAGANZA. It has to be in all caps because it is JUST SO CRAZY AND HUGE AND EXTRAVAGANZA LIKE. I am being flippant, but it is pretty damn big. I took tons of photos on my iPhone and now have to figure out how to upload them, so I can post the *brilliant* photos of bridal gowns with angel wings. Oh yes, there will be snark.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Finding the Date

So we are seriously contemplating 2 dates for next year, which is just so exciting!

The first is October 10, 2010 (10.10.10)

and the Second is November 20, 2010

Pros for October
Wicked awesome date
We would never forget our anniversary!
It is a Sunday so it would be cheaper!

We really wanted to do November, since it can still be really hot in October
It is a Sunday, so our out of town guests may not be too pleased? I'm not sure about this.
Also, maybe everyone in the world is going to try and have their wedding on this day since it is such a fantastic date!

Pros for November
It is the weekend after Harry Potter 7, which just means good things everywhere! Plus, friends of ours are already flying in for the Harry Potter premiere (we are nerds) so they would be here already!
It is a Saturday, which means we could do fun stuff on Sunday with our out of town guests. I'm not gonna lie, I love the post wedding thank you brunch.
It is the week before Thanksgiving, which means nice happy giving thanks feelings and also we'd already have the time off to go on a honeymoon!

It is a Saturday, so it would be more expensive.
This date may fall during a conference for work. Which would mean basically I couldn't go and BRizzle (the florist, jackie of all trades, biffle) who is also a colleague couldn't go either.

Quelle conundrum!

Monday, July 13, 2009

The living is easy

Sorry I haven't been around, friends. It is summer time and I think about updating a lot, but I have found recently that updating is a lot like going to the gym.

I think about it a lot, but I rarely do it.

So, today when I was sitting and thinking about going to the gym and maybe updating the blog, I did what I always do-- I turned on Food Network instead. But it was a bridal wedding cake challenge (so of course I had to watch *that* and not go the gym) But, I think we found the answer to our second cake.

Say hello to our new little friend-- the Croque em Bouche
(english translation: Delcious Cream Puffs Stacked All the Way to Happy Town)

It is a very traditional French Wedding Cake. And have I mentioned the cream puffs?! HELLO. How amazing is that?! You can even fill the puffs with different kinds of cream! And it is covered with some carmelized sugar ribbons. So basically you have carmelized sugar and CREAM PUFFS.

Sorry, I'm just really excited!


In other news, we are very close to nailing down an actual date for the wedding! And with all of this non-blogging I actually have things to blog about, which is exciting.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Remember that time I had a blog?

Remember when I updated on a somewhat decent schedule?

Well, then there was summer vacation. And let me tell you how nice it is from working 12 hour days to no hour days. Ahhh. Sippin' my coke zero and thinking of renovations I could do to the house, while sitting on the couch.

And I'm currently in a production of the The Producers right now and between the two, I'm spending my days zoning out on the couch watching HGTV and my evenings parading around as a nympho old lady, a gay lighting designer, and a sad sad chorus girl.


But I promise I haven't forgetten the blog. Almost every day I think, I should get on the computer and update.

And then I don't.

I'm thinking of doing quite a few posts on nice places to elope in the great new states that have just recognized LGBT couples as first-class citizens! Woot!

Any thoughts?

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Two Steps Forward, Three Steps Back

"Bear in mind this sacred principle, that though the will of the majority is in all cases to prevail, that will, to be rightful, must be reasonable; that the minority possess their equal rights, and to violate would be oppression" -- Thomas Jefferson

I didn't think I would cry.

But I did.

Do what you can, if you can.

Mrs. Fix-It

I've been watching a lot of HGTV lately, and it is never a good thing. It makes me feel like I can tackle any project!

My current obsession are recycled glass tile back splashes for the kitchen.

Like this:

Now if only our landlord will let it happen! We will be living in this house for at least another 2 years, so I don't see why I can't do fun DIY projects that will up our quality of living and also help our super awesome landlord re-rent it when we leave. Has anyone installed these little guys before? It seemed pretty easy on HGTV (but a lot of things seem pretty easy on HGTV, like buying a home for instance).

Speaking of the blessed channel of Home and Garden Television. I am in love with the show 'House Hunters' because about every other day or so, I catch a gay or lesbian couple trying to buy a house and it makes me happy. The last one I saw was a cute couple looking to move back to San Fransisco. And man, did they find a sweet condo! I've seen a lot of stuff on SF lately. And another thing I want is this photo, just with me and D instead of the cute couple seen here:
How romantic and cliche, right? I love it.

Another another note, I'm hoping that today we will here a good decision about Prop 8 from the Supreme Court in CA, though I'm afraid to get my hopes up too high. I'm much more nervous than I thought I would be. Even though CA won't effect us as a couple, I feel like it effects us as a community. And this could just be a major blow (or victory!) to equal rights for everyone.

Well, hopefully Happy Tuesday, y'all.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Need a little break?

So Monday is Memorial Day! How about that! With school dwindling down in Texas, all I can think of is summer vacation. And when I think of summer vacation, or any kind of getaway I close my eyes and think of a lazy day at RiverBarnSuites.

This is the header from the website. You should go check it out. This place makes me smile just looking at it!

I don't know how many readers live in Texas, but if you do and you are looking for a wonderful escape, check it out. D and I found it last year for our respective spring breaks (the joys of teaching!). D and I are both giant Anglophiles and love the idea of Bed & Breakfasts. It was really important to me to find a B&B where we could go and be a couple and not just have to be 'roommates'. I found this funky little site called PurpleRoofs which has a compilation of gay friendly and gay and lesbian owned B&Bs that advertise on the site. If you are ever going on a vacation-- check out that site. It is pretty awesome.

Anyway, we spent 6 days at River Barn last year(named for the fact that it was once an old barn that the owner renovated into these sweet suites.) Now, any time either of us are stressed out we just close are eyes and think of relaxing time we had there. We spent 6 days reading, lounging, playing board games, taking hikes, fishing on the San Marcos and watching the river run by. It was heaven.
Look at that! Couldn't you sit there all day long?

The rooms are giant and the pricing is good, plus you can almost always find some sort of special. And in the summer, you can float the river! The owner also has fun romance packages and offers dinners as well... and dang, she is good cook. And *now* she has river front cabins available for rent as well (something we are eager to check out this summer!).

What are you waiting for? Go check it out!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Now *this* is a dress

Helllooo Lovah,

How are you doing this fine Tuesday morning? You are looking ever so cute and ever so dainty and ever so sweet! That embroidery?! Well it is just perfection.

I love the flirty flouncy back too! I look forward to meeting you in the future.
-- Hopefully yours, M.G.

Okay, so seriously. How amazing is this dress?! I found it on Whilring Turban.Com
They do all sorts of *CUSTOM* vintage dresses! This is technically knee length, and if I were to do this, I may go tea length so it is a little more formal. But I LOVE IT. LOVE LOVE LOVE IT. Don't tell me know expensive it is. I don't want to know right now. I just want to think about this sweet thing and smile and smile and smile.

I never thought I would like anything like this, but it just looks so cute! I'm weary of the halter/sweetheart neckline because I'm a little boobilicious, but I think I'll try on some sweetheart styles next time we go shopping and see what it looks like.

Hooray! The angry black cloud of wedding dresses has lifted and a shower of options are raining down. Yay Metaphors!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Suck it, wedding dresses.

I am seriously detesting wedding dresses at the moment. Every time we go try some on, I have an intense need for margaritas and some form of fatty cheese substance (queso usually) after. Or, you know, the bloomin' onion from the Outback-- WHICH has over your daily allotment for calories in a single bloom. Impressive.

One of our bridesmaids is in town for the summer, so I'm sure the wedding dress adventures will begin again (D already found her dress last time the bridesmaids were in town, so I'll post pictures soon). I generally try things on and look like a giant cupcake. Or look like I'm farting lace.
Example of a prime cupcake dress

People keep asking if maybe I should just wear a suit, and I keep asking if they want me to punch them in the face and to stop being counterproductive.

So, since we are having a 'traditionally non-traditional' wedding-- I'm going to start looking at some retro/vintage dresses and hope I have better luck.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Maine, it is time to elope.

Hello friends of the blogging world!

It has been a week since my last post, and I apologize. But let's celebrate! Because Maine just legalized same sex marriage and after looking around some places ... I just kind of want to elope!

I found this one place called Bear Mountain Inn and I don't know if it is due to stress, or the whole family stuff, or what but all I want to do is fly up there with D and curl up under some flannel comfy thing and watch the world go by.

I mean, look at this:
Those are the grounds. Yeah. See the GIANT LAKE. You can get married in front of it. Or just sit and watch the lake do its own lake-y thing. See the woods? I want to have a picnic on that giant front lawn.

Oh, Hi Fall! How gorgeous are you?

Doesn't that look like heaven? I'm a faux outdoorsy person. I say this in the sense that I love nature. I love look at it from the comfort of my Adirondack chair. I like hiking... for short amounts of time. I like lakes, until I start thinking about snakes. But in general, this looks like a place that just does a world of good for anyone that stays there.

Um, and they do weddings. Oh yes-- full packages. Weddings, Elopements, Engagement Packages. You name it-- they have it and not for a bad price either. Oh and did I mention that top of the page says "Bear Mountain Inn is a Gay Friendly Bed And Breakfast".

Maine, I need a vacation.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Working Hard, hardly working

Does anyone have recommendations for a decent books we could read re: Christianity and Homonsexuality? We are running into some fundamental hurdles with D's parentals, and despite our research-- I feel grossly unprepared.
In other news, we don't really have any! We are going to try to set down an actual date for the wedding in the next few weeks after we visit the venue. Also, I have found these save the date magnets on DesignHerGals which is a fun make your own stationary site. I absolutley love these folks. They do a lot of great stuff for breast cancer research and they have some creative stationary and business cards and invitations. I get my business cards printed from them and get compliments on it all the time.
Here is the little thing I made for the two of us:

This was an e-card. So the save the dates would be different. Here is my question.
Is this terrible? Or awesome? I mean, I lurve my business cards, but is this Save the Date worthy?

Tuesday, April 21, 2009


Sorry for the lack of posts this week. D came out to her parents this week (Tuesday) and it has been quite the rigamarole.

I had this typed up on Tuesday morning to post, but never did. So I've edited it a bit, to make it more relevant to what has happened since

I know, for those that just read the blog and don't know us personally, it may be weird that we are engaged, planning a wedding, but her parents are still in the dark about her sexuality, but then again-- you also don't know her parents. It has taken her a year to get 100% independent. College is over and paid for (except her loans), she has a new cell phone and number not on their plan, our power of attorneys are in place and yesterday I made the drive to pick her up. Even though she bought her car a few years ago, the title is in her parents name, not to mention the insurance. We didn't want to take any risks.

Coming out is a hard thing. But for me, my parents were so supportive it was just a matter of telling them. Sure, I cried (a lot), but to them it was a blip on the radar. Nothing earth shattering at all. Her folks were blind sided. Well her dad said he had suspicions, but to be honest he thinks everyone is gay in a weird paranoid way. To give you an idea of who they are-- They donate money to Focus on the Family. When Ellen came out, her mother watched her show, wrote down every business who advertised on it and boycotted them. They didn't watch a lot of Disney as a child since Disney had 'gay week'. The family isn't fond of 'those queers'.

On the flipside, her mother is a loving, wonderful person, who would give her life to see her little girl happy. I see the love in her eyes and it is an unselfish love, and one that is all consuming. I am pained and torn and watching D go through this is like slowing picking apart stitches or something equally painful. I am trying to be strong for her.

After a lot of debate, she decided on a letter. That initial reaction isn't something one can get over easily. A good friend of mine's mother threw stuff at him-- ironically enough, one of the objects was a bible. Though they are best friend's now, my friend still has problems forgiving that first, initial reaction. So we thought a letter would prevent either D or her folks from saying something they'd regret later in life. Then, we decided, an email is faster and cuts out, essentially, a week of waiting for it to get there, response time, and then the returning letter.

We are prepared for the worst and hoped for the best. I think we got somewhere in between both of those. I honestly felt like we are preparing for a hurricane or something, getting all of our ducks in a row. Contingency plans. Waiting for the storm to hit.

Her parents responded that they will always love her, which was a really good thing to hear. But still, I don't think things will be okay for a long time. Fundamentally, their views and D's views are so drastically different on pretty much everything under the sun. But, as far as 'this' is concerned-- They believe homosexuality can be cured. That it is a phase in some peoples lives that they can develop over time and also overcome. Her mom gave her a book by Kerby Anderson called "A Biblical Perspective on Homosexuality". After I read it I was so angry. Old statistics, out of context quotes, and false justifications make this almost laughable to me, but I know so many people probably take this as a very serious truth. It is frustrating, infuriating, but most of all terribly sad.

Did you know that gays have the right to marry? Yeah! They totally have the right to marry someone of the opposite sex. (This is a direct quote, friends).
Did you know that gays are gay because of peer pressure? Yes, the gay agenda is making it 'okay to be gay' and so it isn't homosexuals fault. It is the Gaaaay Agennndaaaa (read that with a spooky ghost voice).

This leads us to MY question- What was first? The Gay? or the Agenda?

Not to poke light. It is what we are doing now to cope.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Working on The Details

Here are more photos of the venue we really like. The blue room is where the reception would be held. This means we get to eliminate blue from the color palette (except the hydrangeas) which makes my life a little better.

Though we *thought* we had decided on colors, we are moving towards green and brown. Mainly because I found these two invitations and WE LOVE THEM. With the blue from the "blue room" in our reception-- the colors would be green, brown and blue.

This is from lilribber's etsy shop.

And this is from MewPaperArts

Here is the big dilemma-- both of these are MAJOR spring wedding invites, maybe summer. So do we move the wedding up? Noooo. I think we are going to tell the world to suck it and just have spring wedding invitations for a fall wedding. I mean, it is Texas-- so it isn't like the leaves are going to change and look pretty or anything. It just gets mildly cooler.


Thursday, April 9, 2009

I- Owe-Ya One!

Hooray Iowa! This is awesome and amazing! As one senator said in relation to Iowa and the caucus-- "Where Iowa goes, so goes the Nation"

What an exciting day! And then Vermont to pass equal marriage rights under the legislature? What a great week for LGBT rights!

I am fighting my own battle right now, we are trying to get a National Day of Silence event in my school, but in a "non-disruptive manner" according to our principal. Every meeting seems to be postponed, and though I know it is only because our administration is terribly busy, it is still frustrating. But I'm keeping the faith and hoping we can have some event, even if it is small. I'll tell ya-- it gets exhausting repeating this conversation over and over again:

Student: Man, My homework is so gay.
Me: Is it?
Student: Yeah
Me: Is it sexually and psychologically attracted to other homeworks of the same gender?
Student: No. I guess it is just stupid then.
Me: Remember that next time.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Location Option

This is our #1 choice for our wedding location. This gorgeous house was built in 1924 and is a fairly popular wedding venue in our town.

It is gorgeous. GORGEOUS! Reminds me of the north (where I went to school), and reminds D of Pride and Prejudice and all those deliciously romantic novels of yore. I also love it because it is a close walk(two blocks) to the 'hipster' downtown area, where we will be blocking out rooms for the hotel. So, our drunky drunk friends can stumble their way back to their beds without me worrying about DUIs or accidents on my wedding night.

Hold on for a second, while I step up onto a soapbox--

Honestly-- that one issue (drunk driving) is a big deal to me as I was hit by a drunk driver a few years ago and am still dealing with it. Also, I find it irresponsible when brides just assume their guests can 'figure out a way to get home'. If you are having an open bar, or free champagne or whatever-- I think it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to have cabs, or a bus or something to get the people you deem close enough to attend your wedding a safe ride home. I think a lot of big city brides probably don't have that problem. Most major cities have reliable city transit that most people use on a daily basis. In Texas, though, (big cities included) you drive everywhere. In my hometown, on an average Friday night 1 in 3 drivers are drunk, not tipsy, not 'just a beer' but legally over the limit. ONE in THREE.

Okay, soapbox done.

Sooo, I have successfully frozen my computer 3 times trying to load more photos, so I will have to do it at a later time.

But yes-- we are scheduling a tour soon! More photos after my computer stops acting like a whiny 5 year old.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

It's A Color Meltdown

I am in full-tilt stress annihilation right now.

This happens to me every few days when I start thinking about the colors for our wedding.
We've decided the colors are a deep blue, a sage to bright green, and a nice eggplanty purple.

I would try to find these colors for you on the internets, but I'm afraid they may only exist (and may only look good) in my mind.

Mind you, this color choice was decided upon after an influx of bridal magazines. Each one showing me a perfect theme, and a perfect color palette. I think I dreamed a different color every few minutes.

This part. This nit-picky part of weddings, I LOVE! It usually is so great! But when I start to think of the logistics, my eyes start doing that thing where they move back forth really fast and then I get a headache. For instance, BRizzle, the jackie of all trades who accompanied me to the bridal show, asked if D and I's bouquets would be the same.

I had no clue. I still have no clue. Am I supposed to decide on this? The flowers are my big thing. I'm a little bit of a flower snob, I must admit. For instance, I pick the baby's breath out of floral arrangements and ask for wax flowers when I order flowers for delivery because I really do think they are THAT.TACKY. So, flowers to me is like the cake to D.

BUT, the good things that now we have finally chosen a color-- i can freakishly obsess about finding the cheapest, coolest, most coordinating invitations known to mankind.

Etsy-- here i come.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Bridaled Out

Man, what an epic weekend.

On Saturday, D and I hosted a dinner party at our house. My friend, Harmonious (It isn't her real name, but I call her that anyway), made a delicious vegetarian pasta dish and I tried my hand at some Coq au Vin in a crockpot. It looked fancy! But was nice and easy to make!

While the partay was happening, Harmonious and her boyfriend became our witnesses as we finally signed our PoAs. It was such a tedious task, because we thought we had to get the dang thing notarized, but our only day off of work was Saturday, so-- we scrambled to the bank before it closed, only to discover-- no notary needed.

So that was a little frustrating. But it is done now! Yay! We are one step closer together as a legal couple.

On Sunday, D had to leave tow to visit some relatives, so I went to the Bridal Extravaganza without her. One of our bridesmaids/florist/jackie of all trades went with me and was my rock of sanity during the three hours of florescent lighting and sugar highs.

Many amazing things happened at the Bridal show! I think we nailed down a venue. We are *hopefully* going to to tour the facility sometime this week, but when posed with the "How open are you to gay weddings?" question they responded-- "Well, we are having one in August if that answers your question." And it did! And they won't cost an arm and a leg and it looks like they have on-site catering, which would be really nice.

And so it goes- we may be able to get in touch with another gay couple in our town that is 'gittin' hitched' this summer-- which would be so wonderful!

I'm loading bridal show photos on the computer when I get home.

I hope you had a great weekend!

Friday, March 20, 2009


Hooray! For most of you around the country it was Spring Break for all of those associated with education! It was for me and it was flippin' awesome!

D and I have a PoAs and Living Will! Commenter/Reader/Amazing Person Christina commented that she and her gal went through LegalZoom.Com

And so did we.

EVERYONE-- please, if you need something quick, easy and cheap that covers just about everything go check it out. It took us 6 minutes and only cost us $90 including tax. They priority mailed the package and it took about a week to get it in the mail! (We completed it last Friday, got it in the mail today). This won't cover everything, but it will protect us if D got into an accident-- I would be allowed visitation rights (which was the most important thing for us).

Tonight, two of our closest friends are coming over as witnesses and we will get it notarized at the bank tomorrow! I am excited!

For those in Texas who were looking to go through a lawyer for all this:
The LGBT lawyer is named Timothy Thomas in Dallas. I'd check him out. We will be using him in the future and he totally understood where we were coming from. His estimate for domestic partnership paperwork was around $5,000. So, start saving. There is also another LGBT lawyer in Houston that we looked into Katine and Nechman. These were the folks that represented John Lawrence in the landmark Lawrence V. State of Texas that reversed the sodomy laws in Texas! So they are A. BIG. DEAL. We never ended up contacting them, because D is from the Dallas area, so it seemed like a smart choice to work with Tim.

I hope you are having a Happy Friday!

Tomorrow or Sunday I'll post pics from the wedding we went to last weekend!

Friday, March 13, 2009

About to lay down the mula.

First and foremost, I want to say THANK YOU! To all the new readers who traveled over here from my friend Meg's blog. Isn't she awesome? Hello! I hope you are having a great Friday! and THANK You to everyone who has made comments. They are very nice, and helpful and encouraging and just wonderful! so Thank you! You are great people!

D and I are going to getting our Power of Attorney done this Monday by some 'big wig' LGBT lawyer in a larger city.

I'm pumped. This is the first of many big steps in our 'official legal relationship'.

I am not pumped that we'll be spending an estimated $350-450 for ONE DOCUMENT.

Doesn't that seem much?

I did some investigative work amongst lawyers in our own town. My hopes skyrocketed when one lawyer said he'd do it for $50. When I asked if that covered medical PoA. He said "No, and who is this for again?"

"My partner."

"Well, business partners don't need medical powers. That is just for elderly people and man and wife."

I really wanted to respond "Oh, well sir, see we are in the LESBIAN business together. So as LESBIAN business partners, it is necessary."

But my freakish need to be nice and polite kicked in. So I just hung up.


So to the LGBT lawyer it is. Which, in a way, I'm okay with. All this guy handles are LGBT cases and estate planning. So he knows TX law pretty well (more than pretty well, I'm hoping for $350 freaking dollars). So this means if anything happens, I can call him and for an exorbitant amount of money he will take care of it. Which-- though not very budget friendly, it is comforting in some way.

We are just doing medical PoA for now. Partly to save on cost, and partly because financially we don't exactly have much of anything except college loans.

Exciting day though! And if I can find my digital camera in the murky depths of clutter in our house... I'll take some photos.

Happy Friday!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

When do you take a stand? When do you sit and watch?

This weekend we are traveling to a small(er) town in North Texas for a wedding. I couldn't be happier for this couple. Seeing them together just makes me smile and they share the same ideals, the same goals in life-- this guy and gal have been through thick and thin already and I know that this wedding will be a true celebration of love, devotion, happiness, quirkiness.... etc. Happiness all around.

But did I mention it is in a small town near the Oklahoma border? Conservative City. My fiancee and I, personally, know the groom. The bride and I would be what I call "step-friends". As in, in a group we are chums, but I would never just call her and ask her out for coffee without her significant other.

So, this week D and I are getting ready for the wedding and she turns and asks "Are we going as a couple? Or are we going as roommates?"

It is sad. But I thought "Oh, shit. I better check with the groom first."

Some of you may say-- "NO! You are who you are and people can just suck it!". Or "How dare you deny your love?" Or something along those lines.

And I agree.

But, (here's the big ol' but). It isn't our wedding. This isn't even one of our best friends weddings. This is a wedding of a good friend, and it is not my job to take a stand at their wedding and make their family or less open friends uncomfortable. That. is. not. my. job. My job, as a guest, is to celebrate with them and for them.

But I asked the groom anyway.

His response?

"Of course you are a couple. I invited you as a couple, not as roommates. And I'm in theatre-- so my family better understand that I have gay friends. And they better be okay with it. This is my wedding."

And I smiled, thanked him-- double checked a few times-- and then called D to tell her. So, with his blessing, we will be dancing together at the wedding. Slow dancing even! Not just the chicken dance.

But what if he said no? Could I really blame him?

I don't know if I could.

Gay wedding etiquette. It just seems more complicated than it should be.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Hydrangea Extravaganza!! (Google Search: Hydrangea Wedding)

Hello! This is going to take a little while to load. But here is the google search for hydrangea wedding. I feel like these flowers are traditional but have a fun flair to them (a bit like us). But they do seem a little restrictive in the type of bouquets you can do. And I know we already have our cake planned out but I like the ruffle cake so much-- I'd be willing to have two cakes.

And really. Two cakes? THAT would be a total travesty. I mean, a plethora of sweet icing, delicious filling and pretty pretty designs? That is just silly.

I love the idea of multiple colors for the bridesmaids.
And that wreath is so pretty.

These are more interesting than the plain ol' hydrangea ball.

These are spring flowers, and are currently in season. You can get them relatively cheap at the grower's market in larger cities. They also make great, simple, and chic table arrangements (the pink one above).

In other news, D and I are getting ready to get our power of attorney in line and I'm freaking out over all of these options. We contacted an LGBT lawyer in a bigger city and the prices for this crap is just ridiculous. I know how important it is. And the cost is honestly why we have been putting it off, and I just don't think we can anymore. But $200 per person per contract? Doesn't that just seem a little steep?

If any of you out there have your PoAs already done, I'd appreciate any sort of help.