Thursday, September 17, 2009


On Tuesday, Congressman Jerrold Nadler (D-NY) introduced the Respect for Marriage legislation that would repeal all three sections of the Defense of Marriage Act.

I can barely wrap my head around what that would mean for our lives. It would mean that we would be more free to choose the next place we live. Right now, we promised ourselves that we would only live in a state that recognizes same-sex marriage. But if our marriage was federally recognized, suddenly even those places that don't recognize it on a state level seem a little more possible. Sure, states rights would be ideal, but hell, we could still live in Texas, close to family and friends. What a concept.

On a larger scale it would mean so much more that I can't even comprehend. When I think about it, I don't have words to describe it. I stutter. I blink a lot. I smile.

When I think about, finally, federally recognizing these commitments, unions, marriages, call it whatever-- I am overwhelmed with happiness. Pride in who I am-- teacher, daughter, lesbian, friend, person. No longer 'under the radar', no longer 'defying convention', or 'just trying to make a statement' .... just being.

All of us... gay, straight, bill gates, whoopi goldberg, jim bob down the street. All of us the same. All of us equal. All of us granted the rights we are supposed to have.

And yet. And yet. There is always a yet. Even LGBT advocates are saying this bill won't pass. And I don't know either. This nagging reminder of the utter disappointment after Prop 8 passed--- and then passed again. It is there. We were so sure! Of course California would recognize gay marriage!! It is CALIFORNIA, for crying out loud! If California can't pass a law granting us equal rights, how can anyone have hope that something could go through federally?

I want to believe. I do. I want to think that this legislation is a reason to celebrate. A reason to think that maybe when we get married next year, it will have resonance in our home state. And though I believe it should go through, and have hope-- I also have fear. If it doesn't pass-- what happens then? What will that mean for us? Will we ever get this chance again?

For more information on the Respect for Marriage Act, check out HRC's fact sheet.


Megan said...

If Iowa has marriage for all, there is still hope for the nation. If Massachusetts has marriage for all, there is still hope for the nation. If Vermont and New Hampshire have marriage for all, there is still hope for the nation.

There will always be hope. And soon enough there will be marriage for all across our nation. Love always wins.

Ruby Slippers said...

I'm hoping for you. I still find it crazy that a technologically advanced, forward-thinking first world country like America is making such an issue of this, while here in South Africa they don't know how to deal with crime, get phonelines up properly or keep the power running, but by damn, we've got legal gay marriage.

And not in California surprises me too! I thought SF was like the gay capital of the country!