Working Hard, hardly working

Does anyone have recommendations for a decent books we could read re: Christianity and Homonsexuality? We are running into some fundamental hurdles with D's parentals, and despite our research-- I feel grossly unprepared.

In other news, we don't really have any! We are going to try to set down an actual date for the wedding in the next few weeks after we visit the venue. Also, I have found these save the date magnets on DesignHerGals which is a fun make your own stationary site. I absolutley love these folks. They do a lot of great stuff for breast cancer research and they have some creative stationary and business cards and invitations. I get my business cards printed from them and get compliments on it all the time.

Here is the little thing I made for the two of us:

This was an e-card. So the save the dates would be different. Here is my question.

Is this terrible? Or awesome? I mean, I lurve my business cards, but is this Save the Date worthy?

Exhale

Sorry for the lack of posts this week. D came out to her parents this week (Tuesday) and it has been quite the rigamarole.

I had this typed up on Tuesday morning to post, but never did. So I've edited it a bit, to make it more relevant to what has happened since

I know, for those that just read the blog and don't know us personally, it may be weird that we are engaged, planning a wedding, but her parents are still in the dark about her sexuality, but then again-- you also don't know her parents. It has taken her a year to get 100% independent. College is over and paid for (except her loans), she has a new cell phone and number not on their plan, our power of attorneys are in place and yesterday I made the drive to pick her up. Even though she bought her car a few years ago, the title is in her parents name, not to mention the insurance. We didn't want to take any risks.

Coming out is a hard thing. But for me, my parents were so supportive it was just a matter of telling them. Sure, I cried (a lot), but to them it was a blip on the radar. Nothing earth shattering at all. Her folks were blind sided. Well her dad said he had suspicions, but to be honest he thinks everyone is gay in a weird paranoid way. To give you an idea of who they are-- They donate money to Focus on the Family. When Ellen came out, her mother watched her show, wrote down every business who advertised on it and boycotted them. They didn't watch a lot of Disney as a child since Disney had 'gay week'. The family isn't fond of 'those queers'.

On the flipside, her mother is a loving, wonderful person, who would give her life to see her little girl happy. I see the love in her eyes and it is an unselfish love, and one that is all consuming. I am pained and torn and watching D go through this is like slowing picking apart stitches or something equally painful. I am trying to be strong for her.

After a lot of debate, she decided on a letter. That initial reaction isn't something one can get over easily. A good friend of mine's mother threw stuff at him-- ironically enough, one of the objects was a bible. Though they are best friend's now, my friend still has problems forgiving that first, initial reaction. So we thought a letter would prevent either D or her folks from saying something they'd regret later in life. Then, we decided, an email is faster and cuts out, essentially, a week of waiting for it to get there, response time, and then the returning letter.

We are prepared for the worst and hoped for the best. I think we got somewhere in between both of those. I honestly felt like we are preparing for a hurricane or something, getting all of our ducks in a row. Contingency plans. Waiting for the storm to hit.

Her parents responded that they will always love her, which was a really good thing to hear. But still, I don't think things will be okay for a long time. Fundamentally, their views and D's views are so drastically different on pretty much everything under the sun. But, as far as 'this' is concerned-- They believe homosexuality can be cured. That it is a phase in some peoples lives that they can develop over time and also overcome. Her mom gave her a book by Kerby Anderson called "A Biblical Perspective on Homosexuality". After I read it I was so angry. Old statistics, out of context quotes, and false justifications make this almost laughable to me, but I know so many people probably take this as a very serious truth. It is frustrating, infuriating, but most of all terribly sad.

Did you know that gays have the right to marry? Yeah! They totally have the right to marry someone of the opposite sex. (This is a direct quote, friends).
Did you know that gays are gay because of peer pressure? Yes, the gay agenda is making it 'okay to be gay' and so it isn't homosexuals fault. It is the Gaaaay Agennndaaaa (read that with a spooky ghost voice).

This leads us to MY question- What was first? The Gay? or the Agenda?

Not to poke light. It is what we are doing now to cope.

Working on The Details

Here are more photos of the venue we really like. The blue room is where the reception would be held. This means we get to eliminate blue from the color palette (except the hydrangeas) which makes my life a little better.

Though we *thought* we had decided on colors, we are moving towards green and brown. Mainly because I found these two invitations and WE LOVE THEM. With the blue from the "blue room" in our reception-- the colors would be green, brown and blue.

This is from lilribber's etsy shop.

And this is from MewPaperArts

Here is the big dilemma-- both of these are MAJOR spring wedding invites, maybe summer. So do we move the wedding up? Noooo. I think we are going to tell the world to suck it and just have spring wedding invitations for a fall wedding. I mean, it is Texas-- so it isn't like the leaves are going to change and look pretty or anything. It just gets mildly cooler.

Thoughts?

I- Owe-Ya One!

Hooray Iowa! This is awesome and amazing! As one senator said in relation to Iowa and the caucus-- "Where Iowa goes, so goes the Nation"

What an exciting day! And then Vermont to pass equal marriage rights under the legislature? What a great week for LGBT rights!

I am fighting my own battle right now, we are trying to get a National Day of Silence event in my school, but in a "non-disruptive manner" according to our principal. Every meeting seems to be postponed, and though I know it is only because our administration is terribly busy, it is still frustrating. But I'm keeping the faith and hoping we can have some event, even if it is small. I'll tell ya-- it gets exhausting repeating this conversation over and over again:

Student: Man, My homework is so gay.
Me: Is it?
Student: Yeah
Me: Is it sexually and psychologically attracted to other homeworks of the same gender?
Student: No. I guess it is just stupid then.
Me: Remember that next time.

Location Option

This is our #1 choice for our wedding location. This gorgeous house was built in 1924 and is a fairly popular wedding venue in our town.

It is gorgeous. GORGEOUS! Reminds me of the north (where I went to school), and reminds D of Pride and Prejudice and all those deliciously romantic novels of yore. I also love it because it is a close walk(two blocks) to the 'hipster' downtown area, where we will be blocking out rooms for the hotel. So, our drunky drunk friends can stumble their way back to their beds without me worrying about DUIs or accidents on my wedding night.

Hold on for a second, while I step up onto a soapbox--

Honestly-- that one issue (drunk driving) is a big deal to me as I was hit by a drunk driver a few years ago and am still dealing with it. Also, I find it irresponsible when brides just assume their guests can 'figure out a way to get home'. If you are having an open bar, or free champagne or whatever-- I think it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to have cabs, or a bus or something to get the people you deem close enough to attend your wedding a safe ride home. I think a lot of big city brides probably don't have that problem. Most major cities have reliable city transit that most people use on a daily basis. In Texas, though, (big cities included) you drive everywhere. In my hometown, on an average Friday night 1 in 3 drivers are drunk, not tipsy, not 'just a beer' but legally over the limit. ONE in THREE.

Okay, soapbox done.

Sooo, I have successfully frozen my computer 3 times trying to load more photos, so I will have to do it at a later time.

But yes-- we are scheduling a tour soon! More photos after my computer stops acting like a whiny 5 year old.

It's A Color Meltdown

I am in full-tilt stress annihilation right now.

This happens to me every few days when I start thinking about the colors for our wedding.
We've decided the colors are a deep blue, a sage to bright green, and a nice eggplanty purple.

I would try to find these colors for you on the internets, but I'm afraid they may only exist (and may only look good) in my mind.

Mind you, this color choice was decided upon after an influx of bridal magazines. Each one showing me a perfect theme, and a perfect color palette. I think I dreamed a different color every few minutes.

This part. This nit-picky part of weddings, I LOVE! It usually is so great! But when I start to think of the logistics, my eyes start doing that thing where they move back forth really fast and then I get a headache. For instance, BRizzle, the jackie of all trades who accompanied me to the bridal show, asked if D and I's bouquets would be the same.

I had no clue. I still have no clue. Am I supposed to decide on this? The flowers are my big thing. I'm a little bit of a flower snob, I must admit. For instance, I pick the baby's breath out of floral arrangements and ask for wax flowers when I order flowers for delivery because I really do think they are THAT.TACKY. So, flowers to me is like the cake to D.

BUT, the good things that now we have finally chosen a color-- i can freakishly obsess about finding the cheapest, coolest, most coordinating invitations known to mankind.

Etsy-- here i come.