7 Months to The Day!

Holy matrimony, Batman! I just realized that in exactly 7 months, almost to the hour, D and I will be tying the knot. I thought maybe it was time to check in with my wedding time line because "November" and "7 MONTHS" have two completely different responses from me.

November- Oh yeah, so much time!
7 Months- Holy crap. I am so behind on everything.

It had been so long since I had been on theknot.com that I had completely forgotten our password and username (remember, we've been engaged over a year now.... and I'm pretty sure the last time I logged in was like three days post engaging).

I had the lovely task of crossing things off, and the unlovely task of realizing how much needs to be done and quickly!

So, first step is to reserve rooms. How many and where. I do not know. We have a place close to the venue, but the room rate is $169 a night, which seems steep for our small town.

I am trying not to stress out, but I feel like I've suddenly been dropped into a giant bowl of jello with only a wee little spoon (I'm also hungry right now).

Onward march (or may, rather!)

La Vida Loca

Well, my life went from 0 to 60mph in about a week. Deb and I are in the process of moving, our big competition piece for theatre has public performances and competitions coming up, and then on top of that I'm stage managing at a local community theatre.

What happened?!

This is just a tiny little post-- an amazing college student at Texas A&M has entered the Pepsi ReFresh Project, which awards $50,000 to the top 10 ideas. The gal wants to start an LGBT Resource Center for Youth and Adults in Bryan/College Station (where A&M is). It is sorely needed, and if you have a few seconds to vote-- it would be awesome. Currently, I think the idea is #25. Voting ends March 31 and you can vote every day!

You can vote by clicking here

Also, don't forget that I'm also blogging over at So You're EnGAYged!

This. Is. AWESOME.

Guess who is a new blogger for So You're EnGAYged?

ME!!!!!

Who's that About Me bio on the front page right now?

ME!!!

Who is so totally stoked to be writing for the coolest, most awesome-st, best site for Same Sex and Allied Couples who are gettin' hitched?

ME!!!!

Seriously, I am so pumped! If you have never visited the site, you should, because it has loads of Allied and LGBT vendors, Real Same-Sex Weddings and a collection of really smart, funny and intelligent bloggers that I am so honored to be joining!

But! Continue to keep checking back on this blog as I will be writing different content for each!

I hope you guys are having an awesome possum week!

Super Exciting!

I have some crazy exciting news to share with you...

Tomorrow!

Lots of really great things are going on and I am super stoked!

Paper Flowers

Deb is a huge book person. I am also a book gal. I love reading, when I can find the time. D and I talked about somehow incorporating our love of books into our bouquets, so naturally I went to etsy and went on a little journey:

I discovered Paper Librarian's Shop, and this great brooch, which could easily be turned in to a boutonniere:
Then I found Suzanne B Webb's shop, which has sets of these guys for very cheap:


I totally bought some. And then I came across this fun, up cycled ring bearer pillow from Weddings By Becca Mari

which lead me to this beautiful creation from the same store that has me seriously reconsidering real flowers for *at least* my bouquet:Paper Ranunculus. Gorgeous! And so well made. I would be interested to see if the book paper brooch idea would be something I could DIY, but for $5.00 for 9--- I don't know if it worth the stress, or self deprecation if I can't do it.

From the Times, of course

A favorite Monday activity of mine is to go to the New York Times web page and view the "most popular" tab from the front page. I am always surprised by what America blogs about, emails their friends about or recommends to read. It is such a diverse little section, and I always enjoy taking an hour or so to do during lunch, or during some down time.

For example, did you know one Sinatra Song Often Strikes a Deadly Chord in the Philippines?

But that is not what I am blogging today!

I just finished a really interesting op-ed piece by Frank Rich (whom I love) about the blatant bigotry around Don't Ask Don't Tell, and a little bit about gay marriage too. I know it is an opinion article, but it is nice to read.

Sometimes, I think since I am so involved in this topic, and am gay that maybe I'm a scoatch biased. Yes, thank you captain obvious, of course I'm biased! This is my life! But at the same time, it is nice to know that I am not crazy for thinking other people are crazy. I don't understand how people see letting gays and lesbians serve in the military can hurt "troop morale". I think they are f'ing crazy. I think they are just homophobes and nothing else. I try to see both sides of every coin. So maybe these folks think that we are just homosexuals and nothing else. But, clearly, homophobes can openly serve in the military...... so then, after a few minutes of playing devil's advocate, I just start thinking they are close- minded f'ing crazy idiots again. But it is nice to read an article like this affirming that I am NOT crazy, nor am I enacting some sort of weird reverse discrimination--- plain and simple-- these people calling for no repeal, are just loony. I hope that made sense. It is Monday and my brain is not fulling working.

On the the article!!! If you don't want to read it, here are a few of my favorites:

If gay Americans are to be granted full equality, the flimsy rhetorical camouflage must be stripped away to expose the prejudice that lies beneath.

McCain aside, the most common last-ditch argument for preserving “don’t ask” heard last week, largely from Southern senators, is to protect “troop morale and cohesion.” Every known study says this argument is a canard, as do the real-life examples of the many armies with openly gay troops, including those of Canada, Britain and Israel. But the argument does carry a telling historical pedigree. When Harry Truman ordered the racial integration of the American military in 1948, Congressional opponents (then mainly Southern Democrats) embraced an antediluvian Army prediction from 1940 stating that such a change would threaten national defense by producing “situations destructive to morale.” History will sweep this bogus argument away now as it did then.

Happy reading!

Oh No!

I had my first wedding related stressy pants dream.

Dreamed that the only thing in place was the venue-- no food, no photographer, no booze, no flowers, no veils (we aren't wearing veils!), and no make-up.... we ended up going to wal-mart and buying covergirl and some hippy dippy shop to buy tiaras... (gag).

And then, no transportation, so we were escorted to the aisle in Jackie of All Trade's unwashed Scion XB.

And it was raining.

And we had to convince one of our guests to be the officiant last minute, and had them fill out and online officiant application from my iphone.

Sad thing-- this dream happened TWICE IN ONE NIGHT. See, we postponed the wedding in dream ONE to give us more time to get food for people and a photographer and then I had a SECOND dream and we had the food and photog, but this time-- we forgot to send out invitations-- so no one showed up!

So weird.

Tune it Out

I've been listening to some rocking Pandora music channels today, hoping to catch some new artists I like. I'm also secretly hoping to stumble upon some wedding songs.

Deb and I have some terrible luck when it comes to songs. We seem to have problems finding and sticking to songs that we like without being tainted. Petty or no, it is a problem. People of the Jury, may I introduce the evidence:

Exhibit #1:
Bubbly by Colbie Caillat was one of the first songs we connected with in the sappy ridiculousness of those first few months of dating. I adore this song and really love how it describes the feeling of being in love.... or so I thought. Apparently, this song is about orgasms. Or so a vast majority of the population (or just my friends) seem to think! Yes! Here I was all innocently thinking it was about love and how cute Deb looks when she crinkles her nose at me, but really the whole damn song is about sexy times. So now, thanks to that one little bird that mentioned this to us, I can't listen to the damn song without thinking "HOW MANY PEOPLE KNEW ABOUT THIS BEFORE ME?!"

Exhibit #2:
I'm Yours by Jason Mraz was, by sheer coincidence, the song that was playing when I proposed. We have loved this song for a while and I have loved Jason Mraz before he became some big alt-pop star. But now, this song is freaking everywhere! So what was once just Mr. Mraz and his ukulele, from some demo CD he made that I downloaded from Napster or something is now some giant ass song that is crazy popular, digitally mastered with strings and crap and on some stupid preview for a movie about a serial killer in Hawaii. And I do not like that one bit.

Though I still totally heart the song, it will be played at some point the wedding... I just don't know where.

Exhibit #3:
Lakme Flower Duet by Mozart I could live with it when it was the "Virgin Airlines" theme song, and when it showed up on Godiva Chocolate commercials. Everyone loves chocolate. I could even get past that episode of the L Word. But now?! NOW?! This gorgeous piece of music is now being used for Animal Planet's "Animals: Untamed and Uncut". And when I hear those opening notes, all I can see in my head is the lion attacking a jeep in the middle of a safari.
It really isn't a pretty site.

So what should I do? Try and block out the noise that surrounds these songs or continue searching? What if I can't tune it out and I'm walking down the aisle and see a lion attacking a jeep, and then the bull goring the bullfighter?!

I know married friends say "You won't even hear the music," but I still can't help but worry about these silly things. I think it helps me procrastinate those Save the Dates I'm supposed to be working on.

Speaking of music and save the dates-- check out these super awesome ones from Etsy Seller EliminateUgly.

The octopus is the company watermark-- wouldn't actually be on the invites..... you probably could have figured that out for yourself, but it is the end of the week and I thought I'd help you out a bit.

Happy Friday, y'all!

This is Pretty Cool.

This couple is donate 1/4 of their wedding budget to help fund relief in Haiti. I think that is spectacular!



I'm sure you are inundated with calls to help this country. But, if you are looking for specific LGBT organizations to donate to, the Olivia Organization (of cruiseline fame) will be matching up to $7,500 in funds donated to the Red Cross.

Click Here to read the press release

You can donate here.

Rich Bride, Poor Bride

There is this new show on the TV (Women's Entertainment) called Rich Bride, Poor Bride. Maybe it isn't new, but it is new to me. And it is terrible. And amazing. And I sort of throw up a little bit when I watch it. But. I. Just. Can't. Look. Away.

I just watch these brides talk about how the day is all about them. and they are the princess. and their lactose intolerant grooms should shell out the bucks to rent an ice cream truck.

I was up till 4am last night watching this show (and Platinum Weddings-- which is pretty much the problem with America right now in 30 minutes). And I just kept getting mad! At the show! At me for watching the show and judging these brides extravagant decisions. I mean, if I had $400,000 dollars I would buy a house, but maybe they really really do care about the 700 guests, and it is money well spent.

Here was the biggest problem of all-- I was feeling 'wedding inferiority', aka my wedding isn't 'chic' enough, or cool enough, or whatever enough. And then I was feeling 'wedding superiority', aka my wedding is much more meaningful, or just plain better. And then! I felt bad for both.

We try to hard not to judge people! But there I was! Sitting and judging. And, to be honest-- I sort of liked it, in one of those twisted snarky ways. But like most things that are bad for you, I'm going to have to cut back.

I will say though, some of these weddings were gorgeous and gave me some fun ideas! I just need to remove a few zeros of the cost.

For instance-- One bride had the guests throw rose petals as the couple exited the aisle. I love this! I think it is fun and sweet and will make for a pretty awesome moment. Check this photo out:

See? Isn't that pretty?! Main difference between our wedding and the one I saw on TV? The roses won't be imported from Holland and placed in 24karat bowls. SAMs club and some pails should do just fine.

Trial Tracking

So, the Prop 8 Trial is underway and I am trying to keep my distance and not check my twitter and email every freakin' second for updates. I just keep getting that terrible feeling of dread and hope in my stomach. This trial is a HUGE deal. We are talking federal court, may actually reverse state amendments huge.

If you are looking for more information about the trial itself (as of now, defense has filed appeals to keep it un-televised) check out the Courage Campaign's Prop 8 Trial Tracker. The main contributors will be long-time bloggers Robert Cruickshank, Public Policy Director and Julia Rosen, Online Political Director. They are pretty much live blogging the whole thing and even though it may seem difficult to follow at times, it is loads of coverage.

My favorite gem of a quote from today: "you all have Brokeback Mountain, and it even got awards. Gay discrimination is over"-- from Defense attorney cross-examining Professor Chauncey (a LGBT history professor at Yale). From @bestlesbianweek

If you are on twitter, I'd suggest following @bestlesbianweek and @theadvocatemag for their pretty constant coverage on the trial, plus many other cool things.

In other news, Deb and I, along with Jackie of All Trades, traveled down to H-Town for the Bridal Extravaganza. It was a bit of bust (no cake tasting), but I think we found our music peeps, which is good. They are a cellist and guitar duo, and the singer has a great folksy voice that we both really like. Plus, they are super gay friendly and have performed at gay weddings before, so that is plus for us!

I do have a question though-- They are asking around $1000 for ceremony music, one hour post ceremony (cocktails/greeting) and then DJ services after (5 hours). This seems like a really good deal, but I've never booked any sort of music act before. Thoughts?

Resolutions, pt. 1

I sort of hate that we only resolve to do things on January 1st, but I also like the fact that a new year can bring fresh new ideas.

Deborah and I talked about our goals for the following year and I tried to keep it from sounding like a high school project. See, I had envisioned this great time where we sat and thought and wrote out our goals and then shared them together, maybe over a cup of earl gray tea, but Deborah has serious aversions to these types of things thanks to years of "Kingdom Education" aka Baptist Christian High School. Apparently, they were big on discussing goals and resolutions...

So, I adapted, and the reality was much nicer than my 'assignment'. A simple conversation while waiting for our order at Sonic.

Our last order from Sonic (sadly).

So, My biggest ( a pun on many levels, really) resolution is to lose 30lbs before the wedding.

I know I am supposed to love my plus-sized self, and that my body is a wonderland and I am gorgeous and all of that crap. But to be honest, I don't love myself at my current weight and I often look in the mirror and say "what happened?", and I don't want to be saying that at my wedding. More so, I don't want to say "wow, our photographer did a good job making me look good!" I just want to look good. No camera tricks... I just want to look smokin' hot, and feel smokin' hot too.

To me, 30lbs seems like a reasonable goal in 11 months. It means no more fast food (my weakness), and watching what I actually eat. I did a good job this summer after the diabetes scare, but then I got lazy. I always get lazy.

I can't be lazy anymore!!!

So, to hold myself more accountable, I've joined a Biggest Loser sort of group at my work, and whoever loses the largest % of body fat by march wins 200 bucks. Seems like nice extra motivation to me!

Here's hoping I'm not too hungry all the time.... hungry + wedding planning = terrible.

Save the Dates, round 2!

I'm a procrastinator. For example, our Christmas/New Year's (aka Happy Holidays) cards we ordered? They are addressed, but not stamped... and have not been sent out. Folks will probably get them in February.

Sometimes, I'm pretty terrible at the follow-through.

Which is why I realized that I needed to get the ball rolling on these Save the Date cards. Even though the wedding is 11 months (!!!!!) away! Some etiquette sites and etiquette guru friends of mine have stated that weddings that take place around holidays (IE: 4 days before Thanksgiving), should send Save The Dates out 8-12 months before the wedding.

So, in an effort to hit the 8 month mark, I'm starting on these little things early. Once ordered, I'll have two full months to gather addresses, actually address them, and then add some postage and send the suckers off.

I've also changed the design. After a change in colors, and looking at the old design too long... I decided it was too busy and I didn't like it. Besides, in 'theory', Save the Dates are supposed to set the tone of your wedding. I feel the way we are going is laid back, fun, with a nice hint of vintage-y goodness thrown in.

So, for your consideration, the final Save The Date (minus some tweaking):

The reverse side will have our names, the date (again) and the location, along with our wedding website. We don't currently have a wedding website, so once I get *that* done then I can get the dang things printed and start on this marvelous journey!

Side note: Did you know vistaprint lets you upload your design AND you can pre-pay for postage? Do you know how awesome that is for procrastinators like me?! That means all I have to do is drop them off at the post office once they are addressed! You can send it first class, or regular! It AMAZING!

Taking the Extra Step

Sometimes, I feel there are so many extra random things LGBT couples have to think about.

First of all, there is the wording on our invites, which I haven't even begun to figure out! My parental units are helping out LOADS, emotionally and financially, but D's parents aren't even attending the wedding. At the same time, we are paying for *some* of the wedding, and trying to create the proper wording on our invitations is migraine inducing...

but that's another post, entirely.

Today, I went perusing some local stores to find "THE STORE(s)" we will be registering at for the wedding. We don't want to register at more than two stores, and we'd like to find two stores that:
1. Have the things we need/would need to register for 2. is an LGBT friendly store

I mean, we don't want our friends and family (and ultimately us) giving a store any sort of monetary gain if they do not support gay marriage.

Thankfully, the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) sent me this nifty Buyer's Guide around the holidays. And since then-- it has become my go to for many things.

Did you know that Macy's and Target both received a rating of 100? But Dillard's and Wal-Mart didn't even make the list? Makes you think where you are going for that fiestaware.

One of our 2010 resolutions is to be more conscious of where our money is going. I know it is going to be difficult at times, and we will probably have to forgo convenience (ex: our closest/regular grocery store gave a significantly large sum to the Yes on 8 campaign, so now we will be driving those extra miles to another store).

And I'm sure we will be doing even more research, other than this one guide. But by supporting companies that support us, I feel much better spending all that money.

A Big Year!

Happy New Year! I hope you had a wonderful New Year's Eve and spent it with loved ones and friends! 2010 is such a big year for us! By the end of this year, we will be married!

Now, when someone asks me "when are you getting married?", I can reply "this November".

Usually I have to qualify that with 2010, but not anymore! It is so exciting!

Tomorrow, D and I are setting down to discuss our goals for 2010. We are going to try and cover a plethora of goals, anything we can think of--financial, business, personal, education, familial, and of course, as a couple.

I encourage everyone to do this! This will be the first year we do something like this, but I look forward to making it a yearly tradition to re-evaluate the year that passed and planned for the future.