Sorry for the lack of posts this week. D came out to her parents this week (Tuesday) and it has been quite the rigamarole.
I had this typed up on Tuesday morning to post, but never did. So I've edited it a bit, to make it more relevant to what has happened since
I know, for those that just read the blog and don't know us personally, it may be weird that we are engaged, planning a wedding, but her parents are still in the dark about her sexuality, but then again-- you also don't know her parents. It has taken her a year to get 100% independent. College is over and paid for (except her loans), she has a new cell phone and number not on their plan, our power of attorneys are in place and yesterday I made the drive to pick her up. Even though she bought her car a few years ago, the title is in her parents name, not to mention the insurance. We didn't want to take any risks.
Coming out is a hard thing. But for me, my parents were so supportive it was just a matter of telling them. Sure, I cried (a lot), but to them it was a blip on the radar. Nothing earth shattering at all. Her folks were blind sided. Well her dad said he had suspicions, but to be honest he thinks everyone is gay in a weird paranoid way. To give you an idea of who they are-- They donate money to Focus on the Family. When Ellen came out, her mother watched her show, wrote down every business who advertised on it and boycotted them. They didn't watch a lot of Disney as a child since Disney had 'gay week'. The family isn't fond of 'those queers'.
On the flipside, her mother is a loving, wonderful person, who would give her life to see her little girl happy. I see the love in her eyes and it is an unselfish love, and one that is all consuming. I am pained and torn and watching D go through this is like slowing picking apart stitches or something equally painful. I am trying to be strong for her.
After a lot of debate, she decided on a letter. That initial reaction isn't something one can get over easily. A good friend of mine's mother threw stuff at him-- ironically enough, one of the objects was a bible. Though they are best friend's now, my friend still has problems forgiving that first, initial reaction. So we thought a letter would prevent either D or her folks from saying something they'd regret later in life. Then, we decided, an email is faster and cuts out, essentially, a week of waiting for it to get there, response time, and then the returning letter.
We are prepared for the worst and hoped for the best. I think we got somewhere in between both of those. I honestly felt like we are preparing for a hurricane or something, getting all of our ducks in a row. Contingency plans. Waiting for the storm to hit.
Her parents responded that they will always love her, which was a really good thing to hear. But still, I don't think things will be okay for a long time. Fundamentally, their views and D's views are so drastically different on pretty much everything under the sun. But, as far as 'this' is concerned-- They believe homosexuality can be cured. That it is a phase in some peoples lives that they can develop over time and also overcome. Her mom gave her a book by Kerby Anderson called "A Biblical Perspective on Homosexuality". After I read it I was so angry. Old statistics, out of context quotes, and false justifications make this almost laughable to me, but I know so many people probably take this as a very serious truth. It is frustrating, infuriating, but most of all terribly sad.
Did you know that gays have the right to marry? Yeah! They totally have the right to marry someone of the opposite sex. (This is a direct quote, friends).
Did you know that gays are gay because of peer pressure? Yes, the gay agenda is making it 'okay to be gay' and so it isn't homosexuals fault. It is the Gaaaay Agennndaaaa (read that with a spooky ghost voice).
This leads us to MY question- What was first? The Gay? or the Agenda?
Not to poke light. It is what we are doing now to cope.